Sorry, friends, here I am again. This blended family thing is going to be the death of me, I swear it is. I'm pissed now, and probably not being as objective as I could be, but any opinions will be well considered because I'm just at the end of my rope.
My daughter and stepson went to the pool, which they're allowed to do by themselves if adults we know are there. Boyfriend was vacuuming, I was working, stepson brought the five-year-old home because she was having a screaming fit. The pool was cold, and she wanted to play in the hot tub, which she's allowed to do for ten minutes a a time, one round of bubbles, because it isn't that hot. Stepson said no because he didn't want to watch her, he wanted to stay in the pool. Not later, not let me finish what I'm doing and then I'll watch you for ten minutes, just flat no.
Then he asked is dad if he could leave the five-year-old home and go back to the pool by himself because it was embarrassing listening to her pitch a fit. Dad said yes, stepson started to leave, daughter was hysterical, so I stepped in.
Dad yells at me, "Well! Is he in charge or isn't he? He said no!"
I got the five-year-old calmed down, made everybody sit for a family meeting. Yes, stepson is in charge, and yes, daughter has to listen to him and not have screaming tantrums when she doesn't get her way. But stepson could have compromised and watched his sister for a few minutes, not just refused, so they both would get what they wanted. In the end, Dad walked back over to the pool with both of them so stepson could swim and daughter could get in the hot tub.
So, the bigger issue than the pool is, stepson is in charge, but he should compromise. And I'm pissed because whenever anything comes up, Dad immediately takes stepson's side, no matter what, and not our daughter's. Stepson has emotional problems and Asperger's, and Dad's always making excuses for his self-centered behavior. My thing is, he's part of the family. If he's old enough to go to the pool, if he's old enough to be in charge of his sister on their own, which he insists he is, then he should be old enough to consider his sister's feelings and find a way to make their time together fun for both of them, not just himself. It made me livid that Dad agreed right away with his son and wouldn't see, till I pointed it out, that our daughter has rights too and her brother could have been less selfish and figured out a way to do what he wanted and what she asked for, too. Daughter shouldn't have had a tantrum, but she's five and, in my opinion, wasn't treated fairly. She expressed her outrage the only way she knew how.
I'm tired of the war. Just plain tired of it.
Answer by gdiamante at 4:45 PM on Jun. 2, 2013
Answer by feralxat at 5:30 PM on Jun. 2, 2013
Answer by Rosehawk at 5:55 PM on Jun. 2, 2013
Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 4:33 PM on Jun. 2, 2013
Answer by Ginger0104 at 4:38 PM on Jun. 2, 2013
Answer by gdiamante at 4:46 PM on Jun. 2, 2013
Answer by 3libras at 7:25 PM on Jun. 2, 2013
Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 5:18 PM on Jun. 2, 2013
Answer by older at 6:19 PM on Jun. 2, 2013
Answer by Rosehawk at 7:21 PM on Jun. 2, 2013
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