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Advice please. My kid is the "buffer" kid at school....

You guys know how they try to balance the classrooms? Well, several teachers have told me over the years, that my child is the child they use to balance table groups and classes (when deciding who gets which teacher). For 4 years he's been in the same class with a child that drives him crazy and worse, when they switch tables, this kid is often placed with my son. Today, ds broke down weeping telling me he can't deal with being the kid who always gets the not-so-good table because he's the one who can "deal" with the students others can't. Not one time this year did he get placed with any of his friends.

So, here's the thing: it's the end of the year and I'm not gonna say anything but I don't think it's right that kids like mine have to bite the bullet every time to accommodate this kind of problem. He's not a perfect kid by any means but I don't want him doing this again for another year. Any suggestions? Do I just ask the teacher in the fall to be mindful of this? I guess I don't know what to do and I feel badly for my kid.


Asked by jeanclaudia at 7:01 PM on Jun. 3, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 32 (56,918 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You can try explaining to the principal and request that they try not to put them in the same class. I do think it is reasonable for you to talk to his teacher next year if he is placed in a class with that child again. If you ask and are respectful to them most of the time they will be accommodating. Even if your child can deal with kids that some others cannot does not mean they should always be placed by them. Your child deserves a classroom that is beneficial to his learning experience as well. Good luck.

    Answer by Lauren.texas at 4:24 AM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • "oh, this kid has a bad home life, he needs extra help"

    "I do not care about this poor little kid, I care about my kid". "So you are going to give my kid the same level of attention and care, if not then I will go over your head until the issue is remedied..."

    That's the discussion I had with my school system when they told me i had to be empathetic and sacrifice my kid at the altar of "can't we all just get along".

    Answer by feralxat at 7:13 PM on Jun. 3, 2013

  • I would demand they separate them next year into different classes

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 7:05 PM on Jun. 3, 2013

  • Please dont let your child be bothered with this is the time to discuss it with your school...go right to the principal so they can place him appropriately for next year. Good luck

    Answer by Danio72 at 7:24 PM on Jun. 3, 2013

  • Sounds like no good kid goes unpunished. It's that way as adults, too, the responsible ones get worked the hardest, the giving ones get taken advantage of. I'd talk to your son's teacher next year and make sure he or she is mindful of the situation, and if your son starts to be put in that position again I'd keep making sure the teacher knows you are watching and will go to the principal and beyond if necessary.

    Answer by Ballad at 7:35 PM on Jun. 3, 2013

  • You write a letter to the principal specifically requesting that he not be placed in a class with that child. Then you follow through and make sure that they listened. It's not fair that your child is ready to have a mental breakdown for having to take the brunt of that kid for all this time, just because he can 'deal' with it. He's not dealing with it, he's internalizing it.

    Answer by slw123 at 9:51 PM on Jun. 3, 2013

  • Feral pretty much summed up how I feel. Thanks ladies, I'll get this thing worked out.

    Comment by jeanclaudia (original poster) at 10:38 PM on Jun. 3, 2013