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How would I go about dealing with teacher student conflict?

My son and his teacher have had a tough year this year. Into the 2nd week of school everything changed. My son fights with me to go to school daily, says he hates school, will use any excuse he can think of to go to the office to call me and beg me to come and get him. I've met with the teacher, counselor, and principal. He has a 504 plan because he struggles with ADHD. The 504 plan is not followed in all areas, his teacher is very sarcastic with him (and yes I have heard it). My son will admit that he now goes out of his way to annoy her. His teacher showed up at our house unannounced and asked to search his book bag for her cell phone, all because he was the last kid in the classroom. (It was not anywhere in our house. It was found in her trash can, but she let me know there is no way it could end up there on it's own "someone" put it there. No apology. This teacher is moving up to 5th and he may have her again. Help?


Asked by Lauren.texas at 4:13 AM on Jun. 4, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (40 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I get where NannyB. is coming from, & to a certain extent agree, that he may eventually, as an adult be faced w/ a less than pleasant (sp?) boss, etc. & he will have to learn how to deal w/ people like that in a mature way. However, I doubt that he is acting this way because you have neglected to teach him to respect his elders. Children are very sensitive to the way, especially adults, act towards them, & often respond neg. to neg. people. The fact that this person is a teacher & acts so immature & neg. toward your child, is not setting a good example & needs to be addressed w/ the principle & this teacher, you & your son. He of course has to learn that going out of his way to annoy an adult who he doesn't like is unexceptable, but the teacher is an adult & needs to learn how to deal w/ children's different personalities. Maybe mediation w/ all of you & the principle would help, if not, I'd ask for him not to have her next yr

    Answer by HappyEndings at 10:03 AM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • Write down all the examples you can think of and then go and discuss them with the principal. There is clearly antagonism on both sides and you want to be sure that, for the good of all involved, he is not in her class next year. Make that the purpose of your meeting with the principal.

    Answer by winterglow at 4:33 AM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • That cell phone situation alone would piss me off.

    I would simply go to the school and explain what you explained here: they have a personality conflict and do not get along with each other, and you do not want your son in her class in 5th grade. If they put him in her class anyway, go in and tell them you want it changed.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:52 AM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • This is when you make an appointment with the Principal & demand that he NOT have her next year as a Teacher. I'm sure she doesn't want him in her class either. Nothing against him at all just because of the personality conflict. I also think that the Teacher has no handle on the class & sounds frazzled. But that's neither here nor there. The School will accommodate your request if you are nice about the issue. There must be another Teacher who is more experienced & can handle it better.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:07 AM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • It's too late for this year, but your son should have had it explained to him that there are personality conflicts in all of life. He should have been taught that this woman is his authority figure while he is at school, and whether he likes her or not, he is to be respectful and obedient. We went through this a few times when our children were in school. Yes, it is hard on children and parents alike, but it is a part of life--in the workplace and every other place we adults have to function. These are opportunities for life lessons. I am not excusing the teacher's behavior--I am speaking only of your son. Since he did not learn these valuable lessons this year, I would probably consider letting him have her again next year. It may or may not work out so that he has her anyway, but I can guarantee you that he will run into another one who is just as bad if not worse, so the sooner he faces it, the better.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:08 AM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • Let the Superintendent/ Principal  know. Tell them that you will be switching schools if they attempt to place your son with this teacher again.  


    Answer by LeJane at 10:33 AM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • Yu have the right to insist that your son doesn't have the same teacher again. Remind the principal of what a tough year they had and simply make it clear that you expect him not to be in her class again. Parents don't know they can do this, but they absolutely can.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:28 PM on Jun. 4, 2013