Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

When is it "ok" to bring your new boyfriend around your child(ren)?

This is obviously an opinion question, but I'm wondering when you (don't answer if you've never been in this position) started bringing your new boyfriend around your child(ren)? I'm sure it depends how long you've known the guy in general as well. Examples would be great, thanks :)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Jun. 4, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • the child's age makes a difference also, in addition to the other things you mentioned.

    when my oldest was an infant (6 months or so) i started bringing her around my at the time boyfriend. granted, we weren't dating at the time we were just friends still, but he was the prominent male figure in her life. we had also been friends for 5 years before that. she's 6 years old now and still calls him daddy.


    Answer by tnm786 at 5:34 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • ^ i should mention we did eventually get married lol

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:37 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • there's never the right time. I would say an ok time is a feeler to see how they do after you know your getting serious, then you can start I would say depending on the age but be very careful about having your son or daughter call him daddy. Because if you break it off it can be hard on a child. I looked at my ex sister in law and how it was hard on her son. She brought a guy earlier on in the relationship and then they broke up that poor boy is so confused.

    Answer by Sillylins at 5:38 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • My kids met my bf when we had been dating for 6 months and knew we were going to be long term. He's the only guy I dated that they ever met and we ended up getting married.

    Answer by missanc at 6:04 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • After things are serious enough that it looks like you'll last as a couple. Bare minimum of 6 months for me.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 6:35 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • I think it depends. If you just met and are casually dating to see if there is any interest in going further than you should wait until you KNOW that that is the person you'd like to make a life with and are ready to take the relationship to the next level.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 6:40 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • I think a minimum of 6 months is a good start. But I also think you should be able to see yourself spending your life with him - not necessarily engaged, but when you know each other well enough and have been together long enough that you can honestly see yourself getting engaged and married and planning to spend the rest of your lives together.

    But you also have to consider how old your child is, how easily they get attached and how hard it is for them to let go. If they tend to cling and have trouble letting go, you might want to wait until marriage is actually on the table.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:25 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • Well I'm one of those lame girls who sees themselves with someone for a long period of time or not at all. So I could see us being long term but that doesn't mean we would be. Does that make sense? Lol.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:58 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • Have you talked with yoir bf seriously about being together long term? Is he on the same page? If you have a history of failed relationships I would hold off introducing them for a long time. When I introduced my kids my bf and I were already talking engagement. We took the engagement period very slowly to give the kids time but we both knew what we wanted.

    Answer by missanc at 8:41 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • My current SO and I had only been together a few weeks when I introduced my children to him. Granted, my kids are 17, 15, and 12. I didn't want my kids thinking I was hiding him from them and didn't want him thinking I was hiding my kids from him. Plus, I fell hard and fast for him. It only took a week of messaging, emailing and talking on the phone for me to decide I wanted to meet him. Then after our 1st date, I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

    I explained to my kids that this man makes me happy and that he isn't trying to replace their father. I think it helped that they had seen their father bring home many random women and this was the 1st guy I had brought home.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 11:06 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.