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has anyone known an abusive man to change with the next woman?

i think when men abuse they just got with the wrong woman. does anyone know of a situation where the man abused his wife but didn't go on to abuse other women after her? *note - i am divorcing an abuser.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Feb. 17, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Yes. But only when the abuse was secondary to alcohol and/or drug abuse. After divorcing and then getting clean (usually because the divorce was a wake up call), I've known men that have treated the next wife better. But when it comes to abuse due to personality/anger issues I have never seen that (even after counseling)

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 9:48 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Yep my dad.

    It was heartbreaking to see him treat my mother the way he did and then treat my step-mother kindly! He didn't completely change, though, He was just much kinder to the step-mom. This could have been because he was thrown in jail a couple of times and was afraid of getting arrested again. IDK. I don't talk to him anymore and never will.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • they do change after they get with another oman(from my experiences) i have also seen it happen. i just personaly think they are not happy with teh one they were with and such.. but i do believe they change after getting with someone else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • who cares? let him go torment someone else

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • oddly enough, my fiance was is one of those men. I think partly it is because of age and maturity. he is a different person than who he was 10 years ago. I wouldn't have dated him back then.

    of course I was an abusive woman back then and I have changed a lot too.

    or maybe we haven't changed and that is what makes us perfect for each other ~shrug~

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • i wrote the question. i gave my husband a dose of his own medicine and it caused him to leave me. i fought him back and didnt put up with his mind games and cheating. i dont want a divorce though. in some weird way i feel like we are meant to be together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • My dad.

    He used to beat my brothers and mom (never me, which to this day, I have guilt problems from). My parents divorced and my dad remarried like 10 years ago...and he doesn't beat her. I wouldn't want him to, but it's hard to think back to the way my mom and brothers were treated and the mental abuse that I went thru...and then see him treating someone else kindly...and her kids too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

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