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11 Bumps

So hubs and I want to find a girl to spice up our sex life

ive done three somes but only with friends of mine. So now we are seeking couples or singles. Anyway sometimes Im in the mood, but sometimes Im not. Well anyway we go online to meet people right, but lately he has been looking so much that it takes away from me and him time. He does nothing else it seems anymore. So I said what if I dont want that anymore he said thats fine but he clearly loves it so whether Im ok with it or not he will always enjoy the visual excitement and conversations online. As will I for as long as I live. He however needs to turn it down just a notch IMO because theres sex and fun, and then theres real life. right? so we talked, and what happened was I came over to see what he was doing and he shut down his phone real quick so I couldnt see. So what would you think?

Answer Question

Asked by lullaby572 at 10:50 PM on Jun. 4, 2013 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,129 Credits)
Answers (43)
  • Cafemom is not the place to solicit for sex partners.
    You opened a can of worms when you allowed it to happen with "friends of yours" and now he's looking without you. Don't be surprised if he starts engaging without you. You made the mess now you get to deal with the consequences. It's called being an adult

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 10:53 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • canofworms


    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:54 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • Sounds like he may have already found someone or others and it will cause a lot of problems now.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:54 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • i think you should be having this particular convo with him. not us

    Answer by feralxat at 10:55 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • So what is your divorce attorney's name?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:56 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • I agree with PP. It's not a wise thing to allow others into your bedroom. I think you are in a fix and if you feel he's too into it, it may be tough to put the genie back in the bottle as the saying goes.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 10:57 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • Have another serious chat with your husband. You two are the primary relationship. Anything beyond that, you both need to be on board with. Lots of people have extracuricular sorts of arrangements, but the primary relationship has to stay sacred

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • ok I said hubs sorry but we are not married in fact we just started dating in April
    sorry I apologize for saying hubs. Also we did not have a three some yet, I have in my past

    Comment by lullaby572 (original poster) at 11:02 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • All I can say is make sure your relationship is a good one. No trust issues, no jealousy, no insecurities.
    "Spicing things up" doesn't have to involve another person, and I highly doubt you've done everything on my standard "spice it up" list already that you'd need to resort to multiple partners.
    New sheets, new positions, lingerie, massage oils, edible lotions, lubes (flavored or tingly), flavored nipple treats, chocolate body paint, ice cubes, sex dice (or other bedroom games) sex in different rooms, sex in the car, sex outdoors, sex with the lights on, feathers, restraints, blindfolds, mutual masturbation (or put on a show for him), toys (cock rings, sleeves, vibrators, bullets, g-spot stimulators, nipple clamps), Liberator furniture (or a pillow under the butt), ass-smacking, hair-pulling, dress up, role play, porn, strip tease, candle wax, erotic literature, soft music, oral sex, tantric sex, anal sex, sex swings...

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:03 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

  • Oh brother. You're the one with the facts. How is it that you can't write a sensible question that reflects them?

    Answer by tessiedawg at 11:05 PM on Jun. 4, 2013

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