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2 Bumps

How should I approach this?

A very good friend of mine who happens to be gay would like to be appropriately affectionate with his boyfriend in front of my kids? I don't want my kids to be uncomfortable but I don't want them to think that being gay is something to be ashamed of. However, my middle child is VERY BLUNT and doesn't always think before she speaks and sometimes hurts other people's feelings unintentionally. Any thoughts?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on Jun. 5, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • id say just be honest like when ur kid ask y someones in a wheel chair or looks talks different. If they ask just explain to them that when people love each other its o k if it a man and women or women n women men n men
    Cherriemama831

    Answer by Cherriemama831 at 1:29 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • I don't think it's appropriate to be affectionate in front of kids regardless of whether your gay or not.
    Parents being affectionate in front of their children, fine..but a friend...no
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • If you aren't comfortable with a straight couple kissing in front of your kids then I would tell him that, if you don't mind a straight couple kissing or holding hands then tell him that. If YOU don't make a big deal of it, your kids wont either. They will take their cues from you.

    Straight or Gay, I don't want people making out or groping in front of my children and I don't do that either, but hand holding and a quick kiss is nothing bad in front of my kids, but that's just me.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 1:37 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • If being affectionate means an arm over a shoulder or holding hands or even a peck on the cheek, OK. Anything else is too much regardless of orientation.
    As for the middle child, I'm sure any adult gay man has had to handle worse than she would dish out, and it may be a chance for her to learn a lesson in considering others' feelings.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 1:37 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • Affectionate is fine. Sexual is not. Big difference. I wouldn't care if they were holding hands, but tongue kissing would be too far. Gay or not.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:37 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • I agree with the other ladies. Casual hand holding or a peck is fine, anything more is inappropriate regardless of orientation.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:02 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • I think showing affection is great as long as it doesn't become sexual. As for kids I think it's important that they understand that gays and straights can show affection tastefully and it's just part of understanding diversity.
    GarysWife1991

    Answer by GarysWife1991 at 8:16 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • all kids are blunt- at certain ages, so it shouldn't be *that* big of a deal to your friend.
    I agree with the others as far as what is approriate for ANYONE to do in front of others ;)
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:36 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • Agree. Showing affection is one thing, but groping, making out, certain comments, etc, for any couple in front of children isn't appropriate... As far as your dd goes, not sure how old she is, but most kids have a way of being brutally honest w/ their opinions. I know there have been many times where I had to have a little talk w/ my kids about thinking before they speak, & the differences between being open & honest w/ their opinions, & being rude or disrespectful of others feelings. I'm sure there will be some natural curiosity from your children about this, so just be prepared to answer questions... lol
    HappyEndings

    Answer by HappyEndings at 9:55 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • If you are comfortable with whatever "appropriately affectionate" means to your friend, I' just tell him ahead of time that your daughter tends to be blunt and quick to speak her mind. That way he won't be taken off guard when she blurts something out. I'd let him handle the situation when she says something--often a reaction from someone who isn't a parent will go further in teaching restraint than the parent talking till she turns blue.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:44 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

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