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Should I get second opnion or is this a normal toddler behavior ? please help, a really concerned mommy!

My son will be 3 in August. When he turned 1 he developed this habit of rocking back and fourth and banging this head against any surface. His crib rail, couch, wall etc. Later when he was older we turned his bed to toddler bed so he lessened doing it, but still does it that once he even bruised his back.
Then at 2 he started throwing major tantrums (i guess that's normal for a 2 year old), but sometime they would really frustrate us for example he building something with his building blocks, and it topples over. He'll throw a fit. He became extremely over hyper/active but I'm told most boys are.
He has speech delay (he's bilingual). His pedi later recommended speech therapy. After 6 months they said he's doing fine and will continue if I want to. He started saying alot of words. Now he says small sentences but doesn't talk like an almost-3-year-old.
He prefers sitting by himself and rocking back and fourth. He will play with other kids but that's very rare (he's an only child so I take him on playdates, also i enrolled him in a very good private day care so gets more interaction. He goes there twice a week for half day).
He will play with a new toy, but after a couple of days he will stash it with his other favorite toys in his baskets. Those baskets come out when he's up and he puts them away when he's going to bed. He doesn't even let us touch them when we try to play with him. He prefers we run after him and try to catch him.
He'll sit quietly for the longest periods of time.
He doesn't prefer playing on swing sets or other play things, even his teacher says most of the times he prefers to gaze at the flowers, grass or the skies. He plays wit his fellow friends sometimes, whereas they are playing with each other everyday.
These are major issues I could think of. I mentioned this to his pedi, and she says he seems fine. Even my husband is saying I'm letting my imagination run away with me. When he was 2 I was suspecting he's autistic, but he's very social now so I guess that's not the case anymore. He will meet new (or old) people very kindly unless he cranky or in a plain bad mood. he does say hello and bye when they're leaving. and likes meeting new people.
So my question, after reading all this, do you think I should contact a specialist? Or are these normal 3 year old behavior? Any sort of advice is welcome.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on Jun. 5, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (15)
  • have him checked by a good professional for autism spectrum

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • I would google early intervention and your area. They will do a free developmental evaluation before he's 3. After he's 3 you have to go through the public school system and they are generally harder to work with. I would do it for my peace of mind if nothing else.

    Answer by missanc at 8:44 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • Autism. (but I am not a professional so that's my opinion based on what you've said.) Not all autistic children are completely anti-social. Seek out a developmental pediatrician for a diagnosis.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:53 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • It sounds like some form of Autism to me, as well.

    Answer by 3libras at 9:15 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • You're his mom, so if you have concerns, then you should def. contact someone to have him evaluated. If nothing else, it will give you peace of mind. Some of the stuff you mentioned is typical behavior for his age, other stuff could be signs of something or could just be his personality. Get him checked out, at least then you'll know.... GL

    Answer by HappyEndings at 9:26 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • I would have him evaluated if for nothing else than to put your mind at ease. The worst case scenario is that you get a heads up on where he is and can deal with it as it comes.

    As for him not playing with other kids so much, at that age they aren't always playing together. They play along side each other and can enjoy each others company, but they don't generally do things together. Right now it's more about learning social behaviors like sharing and taking turns.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:28 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • Why are you looking for something to be wrong with this normal child? The toy thing is an interesting quirk but all children have their own little quirk
    Why not try looking at him and seeing the unique and wonderful child he is, for what he is and try not to push him into a mold of what you want to see.
    Of course you direct him and punish him but you still leave the child be himself.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:47 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • like some gals said, if you're worried, follow through with it.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:24 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • Information is power. Have him checked; if he's fine, you'll have your peace of mind. If something is wrong, you'll be able to intervene early with medical help, which is always a good thing. Waiting to find something out almost never makes a situation better. Good luck.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:10 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • sounds like my daughter at this age

    does he point to things?
    does he avoid light touch, but accept firm hugs?
    does he stare at lights, turn them on and off?
    does he stare at fans, or spin toys or himself over and over?
    does he avoid eye to eye contact, maybe looking at eye brows or ears and not at eyes?
    does he sometimes look through people, especially his peers as if they are not even there?
    does he make a big deal out of a tiny hurt, but a big hurt does not seem to phase him?
    does he seem to have less motor control then his peers, small motor and/.or large?
    does he have an unusual gate/walk? unable to skip or balance on one leg when peers can?
    does he have strange preference to foods, maybe craving spicy foods?

    i would be checking for autism. the earlier you get help the better for him


    Answer by fiatpax at 5:41 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

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