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2 Bumps

How do you handle Cyber harassment ?

To make a long story short...(Stupid girl) has been stalking a friend of mine. We are not sure if stupid girl is one person are many people as she claims, but we think it's the same person on different screen names. She comes into a chat room and claims to be sleeping with friends husband, meeting him in hotel rooms and sending him PM's and telling friend that he is leaving her for stupid girl. We have gone to admin but every time they ban her she just changes her screen name and comes back. I have kicked her, banned her and muted her and told everyone in the room to just ignore her and she will give up and go away. Unfortunately no one will listen to me, they kept going at her, calling her name and acting stupid themselves. Friend says that she can't ignore her because its personal and she is sick of her harassment. I threw my hands up and decided to resign as a moderated, which I hate doing, but what is the point when no one listens to my suggestions. You can't stop the person, I think that ignoring her and muting her (taking away her speaking permission) is the best option instead of playing her game.
Am I being a jerk leaving like this? I mean I really feel that I handled the situation correctly but everyone else isn't on board with me and I refuse to be a part of the problem when my solution seemed easier and more effective.


Asked by AnonNdrag at 1:06 PM on Jun. 5, 2013 in Technology

Level 19 (7,783 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Oh, and as for your real non-anonotwat problem, no, ignoring does not work. All ignoring does is infuriate them and make them more aggressive. This isn't attention seeking behavior - not if it's focused on a single person. This is pre-meditated virtual assault, and they're no more likely to stop if you ignore them than a rapist is to stop if you pretend they aren't there.

    Your admin's lack of interest in solving the problem is an issue, though. If a ban doesn't work, the solution is pretty simple, and one proven effect in other chats - you lock and silence. Nevermind banning and jumping through IP hoops, you immediately mute them and leave them in the room, silent. Anyone tries to provoke them, you silence them, too, and make it clear that that is the policy, end of story, no exceptions for anyone's favorites.

    You will likely have a few flouncers leave the room for a while the first time they learn rules apply to them.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 1:55 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • Stop using the chat room? Or are you still 14?

    I think you've found the culprit, OP

    Answer by NotPanicking at 1:33 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • Sometimes all you can do is shake the dust from your sandals and walk away.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:12 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • what's the difference between a chat room and CM?
    or any other online medium.

    And why should anyone be forced to to change a SN based on someone else's behavior. Advising, "just close the account" is akin to saying, "just move", if someone is consistently being attacked IRL.

    if your friend were truly bothered she would stop feeding the troll and/ or look into her state's cyber stalking/harassment laws

    Answer by feralxat at 1:29 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • I was a moderator in a chat room for a few years. We would kick, and then kick and ban. If it was bad enough we (moderators) held a confab and discussed a permanent ban which is directed at the IP address itself. It was rarely used but worked.
    Why is your friend using her name? Why doesn't the friend change her screen name?
    I would not have left my position as a moderator over that, but everyone has their breaking point.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:15 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • I would leave, you've done what you can. I agree, have your friend just change her screen name.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:21 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • Sounds pretty typical of some mIRC chat rooms I used to visit. If you've done what you can, and made suggestions that have been ignored, then leaving is the next logical step.

    You did the right thing.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:52 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • Does your friend know her IRL? I just ignore people who bother me on the internet.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:16 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • I am not sure how chat rooms work but is there an option that a new person would need to be approved to join the chat?

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:14 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • Is this here on CM?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:14 PM on Jun. 5, 2013

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