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What would you do?

I have 3 girls ages 22 months, 5 years and 8 years. There is this neighbor boy that comes over and plays with the 8 and 5 year old. I don't feel comfortable with it because he is 14 years old. He is a little slower than a 14 year old and I feel bad because there is no kids his age in the neighborhood, but then again I have girls and I feel he is to old to play with them. What would you do? I don't want to be mean, but I don't know

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Jun. 7, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Are you able to sit in on the playdates? I wouldn't feel too comfortable either.

    Answer by 3libras at 9:57 AM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • Is he a special needs child? I wouldn't really have a problem with it, but then again I am a SAHM who keeps the kids in my line of vision constantly when they have friends over. None of that playing in my room with the door closed stuff here. It annoys my daughter to know I could pop in un- announced at any given time. mwahahahahahahaha!!!

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:59 AM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • he comes down to the house and stands in front of hour house until the girls notice him and ask to go outside to play. Since my girls are only 8 and 5 they arent allowed to go anywhere other than the yard or on the sidewalk, but I can't keep and eye on them the whole time since I have the 22 month old that needs me as well. But I do watch them when I am outside, but I don't know I still dont feel comfortable with it, but feel bad at the same time

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:01 AM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • If he plays nicely with them & you can watch their interactions then I'd have no problem with it. Poor kid has no other friends right?

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:02 AM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • he doesn't look special needs, but the neighbor said she thinks he is slower. Ya the girls are where I can see them

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:02 AM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • Well mine don't look special needs either. It does sound like he has a social disorder or is very shy. I wouldn't hold that against him. I would go introduce myself to his parents. I do encourage you get to know him. I know every single one of my kids friends. However if you are uneasy, then just tell him the girls can't play today and send him home. Save play dates for when you can monitor the situation better. He's not going to know the boundaries until you set them.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 10:13 AM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • I'd have no trouble with it but would keep an eye on it. If he's 14 and his mental age was 10 would you have a problem? There is a lot that they can learn from each other and still have lots of fun. My brother always had friends that were several years younger then him. He just related better to them and there was never any problems.

    Answer by baconbits at 10:15 AM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • Have you talked to his parents?

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:07 PM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • As long as you can monitor the situation at least somewhat, popping in and out, it's probably okay if the kids stay in a public area like your yard. An eight-year-old, at least, would be capable of coming to get you if she thought something was amiss.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:24 PM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • That's seems odd to me.
    Keep an eye on him.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:57 PM on Jun. 7, 2013

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