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Does this make sense?

I was chatting with a couple of friends the other day. One never had children, by choice, because she had an unhappy childhood and was, in her words, scared of being a mother. The other one lost her uterus at age 24 because of bleeding from a car accident, but she raised her two stepchildren after their mother dropped them on the doorstep and rode off into the sunset.

Anyway, the two of them asked me why being a mom seems to be (and is) the most important thing in my life, the thing I spend by far the majority of my time, money, and thought on, the thing that brings me my joy. I talked about the usual answers--the wonder of watching my daughter learn and change, the deep love I never knew I could have for another human being, the hugs, and so on.

But then I said that taking the long view, having a child gives me hope. I can't do anything about most of the world's problems. I hear terrible stories on the news every day and am powerless to fix anything. But I can raise a child to be the best, kindest, most capable person I can help her be, and I'll send her farther into the future than I'll get to go. So I'm sending hope ahead of me, equipping someone to help make the world better long after I'm gone from it.

My two friends thought I was crazy. Overly optimistic, one of them said. The other one told me I think too much.

Does this make sense, or am I an optimistic over-thinker?


Asked by Ballad at 1:56 PM on Jun. 7, 2013 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • It makes perfect sense, and I feel the same way as you. Only God has let me live long enough to have 8 grandchildren, and now I'm getting to plant some seeds in them and extend my crop, so to speak!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:05 PM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • That was beautiful!

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:57 PM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • oh FFS
    what did they want to hear- you're raising the spawn of Satan and hoped the kid wouldnt be an axe murderer?

    Answer by feralxat at 2:08 PM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • Tell you right now. Raising a child is not DREAMY. I thought I could do a great job. I think I did. My kids don't.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:03 PM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • I think it is a good way to look at it. We are trying to make the future better one kid at a time. It doesn't always work out the way we want it to, but we try our hardest to instill good things in our kids that will carry on.

    Answer by kmath at 3:43 PM on Jun. 7, 2013

  • Well, I did say that if good moms weren't raising good kids and sending them into the future, then the only ones doing it would be the idiots who didn't know how making babies works and the nut jobs who want to make little nut jobs to follow in their footsteps. Maybe that's what they were referring to.

    Comment by Ballad (original poster) at 2:25 PM on Jun. 7, 2013