Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My sister passed away 9 months ago and I've been hanging out and talking with her ex and tonight we kissed, I don't know what to do, need advice so bad.

Answer Question

Asked by augustrain at 11:41 PM on Jun. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • are you involved in any sort of long term relationship?
    are you both single?

    Answer by feralxat at 11:43 PM on Jun. 9, 2013

  • I think that is probably a lot more normal than you think. Let it go and if you're really interested in him, wait an appropriate amount of time before even considering a relationship. Sorry about your sister.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:44 PM on Jun. 9, 2013

  • I think you are both just trying to bond over your mutual grief.
    I lost my sister in 2011 and when I found out her "Best Friend" slept with my sisters BF of 15 years and the father of my sisters 2 children that also passed away, a little over 3 months after they passed away I FLIPPED the fuck out. So, just think about it before you take it any further.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 11:49 PM on Jun. 9, 2013

  • was he her ex before she passed or as a result of it??

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:52 PM on Jun. 9, 2013

  • I am sorry for your loss.

    Have you or he been involved with anyone else since her passing ?

    Answer by LeJane at 11:55 PM on Jun. 9, 2013

  • I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. Do either of you have children? I mean, if you did get serious with him and end up together, would you have cousins that suddenly became siblings? If not, it might be okay, just don't rush into anything because both of your hearts are probably still raw from grief.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:58 PM on Jun. 9, 2013

  • We really do need more information before we can offer advice.

    Ages? Do either of you have kids? Were they married? How long were they together?

    If neither of you have children, then I would think it would be ok to pursue a relationship. But I would take things very slowly. And make sure you like each other and have things in common other than the loss of a loved one.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 12:09 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • Women grieve alone, men like to grieve with women.

    Look at every other factor BUT your sister. If she had never been in the picture would you two be compatible on other levels?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:54 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • Really not okay. I understand the urge on his part, but not yours. Back away slowly so no one gets hurt. This type of situation never ends well.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 7:48 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • Think about how well you know him and how well it matches with your personality. Write a list of pros and cons of taking it further. Do you just feel lonely or is he really a missing part of your soul? How has he impressed you? What has he done to go out of his way to show you that you are a priority? You may even want to pray and reflect or ask your sister's spirit in prayer for guidance. I think you might be feeling a bit guilty to find companionship during a time of mourning. Just take things slow.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 8:33 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.