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4 Bumps

If your child was the last in the class to know, would you tell them?

What if your child was the only one in their class who still believed in Santa? Would you tell them to save them from being embarrassed? And if so, how would you tell them? I don't want to crush the spirit of Christmas & the innocence of a young child. I know it's a ways til Christmas, but the subject recently came up.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:02 AM on Jun. 10, 2013 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • If you are going to tell your child, you could always think of a way to say it that will enable them to still believe in some of the magic, here is one example.


    Answer by cassie_kellison at 9:14 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • You don't know they're the only one, and you don't know if they still really believe. A lot of kids figure it out but keep it up either because they think you really believe it and don't want to ruin it for you, or they think letting on will mean less presents.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 9:27 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • I don't know. I've always felt there's no need for me to destroy their innocence - it'll happen soon enough. But I wouldn't want them to be embarrassed, either. Does this child have younger siblings? My 12 yr old acts like he still believes, but I think that's more that he knows his little brother still does, and he's kind enough to not ruin that for him. So maybe, if this is your oldest (or an older sibling, at any rate) child, that's what's really happening?

    You could also try feeling the kid out. I'm assuming, if you know that he's the "last in the class" that still believes, it's because he told you no one else does? If so, you could ask questions like why he thinks they don't believe, what he thinks about their lack of belief, etc. Then maybe you'd just be guiding him to figuring it out on his own, rather than actually telling him. That might be less painful and harsh for him, as well.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:42 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • How would you know they are the last to know unless you interviewed all the kids?

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:07 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • We went from the Santa is a jolly old man to Santa is a concept represented by the character of the jolly old man. No trauma of "he's not real".

    Answer by emptynstr at 9:11 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • We never believed in Santa since our culture normally doesn't celebrate Christmas that way, and it never made a difference. To us, Christmas meant a time to get and receive presents and spend time with family for the most part. I think it's more important to stress family togetherness and doing something nice for others than to let kids believe in someone that isn't real. And yes, it would also save them from embarrassment and teasing at school.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 8:10 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • My first one was told by a girl at school & in our home a "pinky promise" is a big deal to us. So, when she came home and asked me if Santa was real and asked me to pinky promise, I just couldn't lie. So, I told her the truth. She was absolutely crushed for a few minutes, but after we had a talk, she is now excited that I am letting her help me "play Santa" this year. She is eight. I think they will find out when the time is right.

    On a side note, she still isn't sure if elves exist, the tooth fairy, Easter bunny.. but I'm sure she will find out eventually. Until then, I'll just let her enjoy the magic she still believes in.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:05 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • My parents still do "santa" for us! Of course, my siblings and I are still in our 30s/40s but my parents always told us "if you don't believe, he doesn't come". They still get us "toys" off our wish list and Santa delivers them to their house, since we all live in town it's not a big deal for us to make it there on Christmas.
    I told my kids the truth when they asked, but since they have younger siblings they know they are still to play along. They still get surprised Christmas morning when they come downstairs and they help make the holiday special for siblings.

    Answer by missanc at 12:58 PM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • This is really hard because this is my youngest & last child. I do like the example cassie_kellison provided. It's the best I've seen so far. I actually googled the best ways to handle this. Ugh!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:10 AM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • I agree with Emptynstr. The man with the white beard and the big belly isn't going to come down the chimney, but the spirit of giving is very much real. My daughter is only five, so she's still caught up with Santa, and I'll enjoy it every year I can. Her brother doesn't believe anymore, but he loves playing along and getting his sister excited.

    I guess I'd want to know what your kid is thinking. If the subject came up, what did he say? That will guide you in how to respond.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:53 PM on Jun. 10, 2013