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why does my clever son lie about bis grade

He is on the top list but still he lied about his grades

Answer Question
 
mahur

Asked by mahur at 5:27 PM on Jun. 10, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't know. Does he want your attention for something?
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 5:33 PM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • He thinks that I should buy him a toy when he gets two 3 s in year two.
    mahur

    Comment by mahur (original poster) at 5:38 PM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • So, he lied to try to get a toy?
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 5:41 PM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • And how is that clever?? Isn't it incredibly easy for you to figure out the actual grades??


    He lied because he wants a toy, plain and simple.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 5:44 PM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • So is he getting the toy? Maybe he should "earn" something else while working his best at getting good grades. Since it seems this extrinsic motivation is causing him to lie :/

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:01 PM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • B/C he's a boy? B/C he's book smart but common sense dumb? B/C he wants a toy?!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • Is he motivated by the toy, or by the approval you give him when he gets really good grades? Try finding ways to praise him for who he is--caring, creative, etc--and not for what he does.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 7:26 PM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • Does the toy issue have anything to do with your initial question?
    It sounded like you were saying he's a top student but presents himself (to other kids?) as average or lower. That would suggest that he thinks it's not cool to be "smart," or that he is trying to please someone else or fit in, and perceives that being himself wouldn't do it.
    But if you mean that he lied to you about what his grades actually were, that he made a top honor roll list but wasn't honest about specific grades in specific classes, then I'd assume that he's trying to please you. Or trying to justify the reward you indicated he's hoping to get.
    Regardless, he lies because he thinks he "needs" to in order to have/achieve something (your positive regard, yours or someone else's approval, a reward, proof of worth, etc.)
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:08 AM on Jun. 11, 2013

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