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What is best for a 22 month old child that has split parents as far as dividing time. ( She has spent most time with me and I dont know if splitting time in half with the father is really best for her security,stability and happiness.

I recently in Oct. of 08' had to stand up and start making better choices than I had been. I was with someone that was very emotionally and verbally abusive towards me and had problems with substances. I asked the father to seek help many times and would not do so. He has shown no remorse or has given no appologies towards me since I left. He did not show interest in having our daughter up untill the end of January. It was and is out of selfish reasons I believe. I am concerned that this is not what is in my daughters best interest and just want some advice on what the experts say is best for a child of 22 months, who has been raised by the mother for the most part. I would like advice on what most people do when the parents split and the child is left in the middle at this age? I would like advice on what is the most appropriate for a child at this age as far as dividing time goes. Is it ok for her emotional well being?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Feb. 17, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (5)
  • What "experts" say will vary - depending on what they are an expert in. Best advice - contact an attorney and discuss with them what your options are and what state guidelines are. Generally, you should be able to get a free referral for a 1/2 hour consultation (or at least reduced price). If there is provable abuse going on, an attorney is your best guide through creating a parenting plan/schedule because they will know what the courts require to prove abuse (more than just hearsay - do you have any police reports to back up accusations). A good attorney will also help you keep focused on reasonable scheduling guidelines, putting emotions on the back burner and keeping your child's best interest first, regardless of your personal opinion of the father. Good luck.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:42 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • BEEN THERE///// I THINK TWO DAYS A WEEK IS BEST AT THAT AGE //EVERY OTHER WEEKEND IS NOT ENOUGH AT THAT AGE AND SINCE THERE IS NO SCHOOL YET I WOULD RECCOMEND //// WENDSDAY THURSDAY ONE WEEK SATURDAY SUNDAY THE NEXT OFCOURSE IF ONE PARENT IS AT WORK AND THE OTHER NOT SWITCHING THAT WAY IS GOOD TOO......I DONT THINK HALF AND HALF IS GOOD THO.....NOT ENOUGH SCHEDUALING

    OH AND I KNOW IM A BAD SPELLER LOL : ) BEST OF LUCK TO YOU THO
    mom-quit

    Answer by mom-quit at 12:19 AM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • OH AND IF HE IS STILL DOING BAD THINGS I WOULD GO FOR SUPERVISED VISITS OR NONE TILL PROVED ON RIGHT PATH !!!!!SAFETY FIRST!!!!!! IF HE IS GOOD NOW THO I WOULD RECCOMEND WHAT I SAID EARLIER LOL
    mom-quit

    Answer by mom-quit at 12:21 AM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I wouldnt go for more then 2 days either she is too little in my mind to understand so if she is use to being with u i dont think to spilt time is a good idea.. at all..
    miss_nevin

    Answer by miss_nevin at 3:02 AM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Hi, that's my story except for the substances, it was a year ago last week,

    Our son who is 22 months old sees his father every week, But sometimes, I just don't know, I wish you luck, I can tell you that you should go with your gut feeling, I feel that its different with moms,

    If you want to talk, send me a message, cause I know sometimes I would like to have someone to talk to that is in this situation,
    tab9344

    Answer by tab9344 at 1:41 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

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