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Did you ever finally find the missing piece to the puzzle?

Last night I was going through my FB messages and deleting old ones. I ran across 1 that I had completely forgotten about. It was like a light went on for me and I finally had the missing piece to the puzzle. Ever since my ex left me (over 3 yrs ago), there was just something that just wasn't right. Like I was missing something. Over the yrs, him and I have done a lot of talking. I've also done a lot of thinking and searching my memory for all the red flags I missed. I have been determined that I am not going to make the same mistakes. I have felt for quite some time that I have closure but there was still something that wasn't quite right.

The message I read last night was actually a few between me and someone else days before he left. Now it all makes sense.

To make this a question: has anyone else had moments like that?

 
tempsingl3mom

Asked by tempsingl3mom at 11:42 PM on Jun. 10, 2013 in Relationships

Level 26 (27,595 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Yes, looking back and seeing "old" things in a wider perspective that includes what you know now can make all sorts of things look different. It can bring self-understanding as well as greater understanding for the other people in a given situation.
    I had an experience not too long ago that brought a lot of meaningful understanding to stories I'd always "known," but hadn't understood for their specific emotional relevance to ME, until then. (This was triggered by remembering actual feelings, which I could tie to events.)
    And I can look back to the last years of my mom's life (she lived with us) & her death almost 5 years ago & can understand what was happening to her in emotional terms rather than neurological/biological terms, because I now can tie old traumas (that I knew about from her history) to their emotional manifestation in the present, so I can recognize anxiety & dissociation (rather than dementia) in her symptoms.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:13 AM on Jun. 11, 2013

  • It wasn't about a bad relationship exactly, but I had one of those moments last summer when my cousin called to ask me if my stepson was okay because the news had just broken about the mass shooting in the Aurora movie theater that was right near his mom's house. I knew before then that life could be gone in a moment because of an infinite number of things, but when I heard what happened at the theater, it was like I had this moment of clarity. I knew if I wanted my life and my relationship to change for the better, I had to make them change. It was like the proverbial lightbulb coming on. I'm so glad it happened for me because I'e started taking charge of my life more.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:41 AM on Jun. 11, 2013

  • What did you say in this message?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:57 PM on Jun. 10, 2013

  • Yep. Makes total sense.
    I had one of those "the truth finally comes out" moments with a friend last week.
    He had been cheating on his girlfriend. SHE said they were never apart, he told US that they were broken up. All makes sense now.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:19 AM on Jun. 11, 2013

  • I think that's what Oprah calls an "Ah-hah" moment.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:33 AM on Jun. 11, 2013

  • Yes, I've had those all the time, but I think I tend to think too much.
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 9:28 AM on Jun. 11, 2013

  • It wasn't really what was said. It just reminded me that he had met this person before he left. Oh, I think he had been planning to leave before then but meeting this person was the extra push he needed. I knew he had dated her after he left, but I forgot that he had met her while he was still living with me. Does that make sense?
    tempsingl3mom

    Comment by tempsingl3mom (original poster) at 12:01 AM on Jun. 11, 2013