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3 Bumps

Texture issue starts at age 9?

My son has become super picky. Won't eat casserole because of the "sauce" in it (Campbell's soup), won't eat pizza because of the melted cheese, struggles with turkey burgers, roasted chicken, fish, hamburger, eggs, yogurt, etc. It's like it came out of the blue.

Of course he likes cereal, bread, sweets. I don't give in to his pickiness but, he just won't eat then. He knows it makes me really mad so he won't complain, he just doesn't eat.

Now I feel badly because am I missing something? Should I talk to the doc about this sudden, weird change?

It's been a year of this and I really notice he hates protein unless it's from beans. He'll grudgingly eat "whole" foods. If I make a plain piece of fish with rice and steamed carrots, he'll eat that. But any recipe of any kind, including soups or chili or spaghetti is out.

Does he really have a texture/food problem or is this all bs? I don't know what to do.

 
jeanclaudia

Asked by jeanclaudia at 11:52 PM on Jun. 10, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 32 (56,918 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I don't think a child would BS about this for so long to the point he would be willing to stay hungry.

    could be many things, including Obsessive compulsive disorder.


    I would be talking with his doctor.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 12:12 AM on Jun. 11, 2013

  • I can't give you a sure answer like you might get from your pediatrician, but I will say my stepson's sensory problems got dramatically worse as he entered his teen years. It wasn't taste so much as touch.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:28 AM on Jun. 11, 2013

  • Children go through stages of pickiness. This seems to be overly long. I would be talking to his doctor. It may be an indication fo some imbalance. I would think it would at least ease your mind if your had at least a good indication of whether this is just fussiness or if there is a medical issue.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:36 AM on Jun. 11, 2013

  • My now-9 year old went through something like this a couple of years ago. It felt infuriating because things she USED to like suddenly were "issues" for her, and she grew pretty inflexible. "Mixed" foods weren't okay anymore, she couldn't deal with soups or one-dish meals, etc. It had progressed over time for about a year, with less & less being "acceptable." I felt resentful for the way it complicated things for me, and for the fears, doubts & worries it brought up for me.
    I decided to treat it as a symptom or signal that things were out of whack for her, or with us. I put the attention on myself, on managing my feelings and being mindful not to engage in struggles over this. It was a practice of bringing acceptance to the situation & responding as constructively as possible to the "reality" I was presented with, rather than trying to make it change, and rather than focusing on whether or not it was "just" being difficult.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:34 AM on Jun. 12, 2013

  • "Accepting" the moment as it was didn't mean feeling happy about it. But it changed my response to the moment, taking struggle & resistance (on my part) out of the equation. This gives room for the child to self-correct over time, if the dynamic reflects an underlying issue around control--feeling over-controlled. "Acting out" is unconscious but it is reliable; kids develop symptoms that highlight issues that need attention. Often, parental responses to those signals exacerbate or reinforce the problem!
    I noticed changes in my daughter. Over time, the situation resolved naturally in a way I considered pretty favorable. I accommodated her (for instance, if I was making a stir fry, I kept some of the cooked vegetables out for her & didn't mix them all together with soy sauce, and kept her chicken separate as well) but she also got more flexible. Now (age 9) I'd describe her as open & easy-going even regarding non-favorite foods.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:46 AM on Jun. 12, 2013

  • She always eats some of everything, and "checks in" with foods she hasn't liked before, in case she now likes them. (Strangely, she's convinced that she has "always" liked beets, even though she disliked them as a baby/toddler & never has liked them. Last year, she tried roasted beets yet again & loved them, and recently when we planted beets I said it's nice she likes them now, and she was all "I have ALWAYS liked beets! I love beets!" lol)
    She has a few favorite soups, even (I had accepted that she might just never like any soup, and that would be OK.)
    She is not crazy about fish but is willing to eat it when I make it, and sometimes remarks that it was really good.
    I know there are things she doesn't like, but I'm having a hard time thinking of anything she will just refuse to eat or try. The food dynamic got a whole lot better when I focused on managing my own anxiety instead of resisting her. The trust opened things up.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:57 AM on Jun. 12, 2013

  • Thanks you guys, I appreciate your insight.

    girlwithC, very good approach with your daughter, I'll try applying that with my son and contact the ped to see what he thinks too. Thanks a ton!
    jeanclaudia

    Comment by jeanclaudia (original poster) at 8:44 PM on Jun. 12, 2013