I am spitting bullets! My blood is boiling like molten lava!
My stepson had some trouble in his summer school class a few weeks ago. He got accused of not turning in his homework, swore at the teacher and stormed out. The teacher found the homework and agreed to let the kid back in the class if he did a hundred extra math problems as punishment for cussing and leaving the classroom in a rage. His dad and I talked to him about how life wasn't always fair and said he would have to suck it up and do the homework so he could return to the class. He needs the high school credit. He has ADHD and Asperger's, among other issues.
Well, apparently my stepson went home and complained to his mom that he hated the teacher and didn't want to go back or do the extra work, and she took the easy way out and withdrew him from the summer course. Then she didn't tell us that's what she did, and we only found out because his older sister is in town and she let us know her brother hadn't been back in school all of last week and this. My boyfriend talked to his ex, and she was annoyed with her daughter for saying anything to us! She was just going to let it be their little secret, her and my stepson. She reminded him that I'm not the kid's mom so I shouldn't even have a say about anything.
I feel so undermined. I'm not his mom , I shouldn't get a say--except when he needs money or help on his homework or someone to find places he can do community service hours. I've been the one who pushed for medical testing to get a diagnosis of his problems, the one who searche for and found a pediatric dentist who was used to working with special needs kids so he could get a broken tooth pulled; his mom had put it off for months, and the only way to get it done was to do it myself. His mom thinks being a good parent means watching TV with her son every night and letting him get away with anything because he's handicapped. She's fine with the idea of him getting on Disability and living with her forever. I think he could do so much more with his life than that--but I'm not the mom! I think she should enroll him in the Asperger's group for teens that has been offered to her, it's right near their house and he could interact with kids who have problems like his and be taught coping techniques and social skills, but I'm not the mom! I think he should have had to work to pay off the court costs that came of his impulsive acts of firesetting and vandalism, but I'm not the mom! I can't believe she just let him off the hook again!
Answer by wendythewriter at 6:00 PM on Jun. 12, 2013
Answer by NannyB. at 3:08 PM on Jun. 12, 2013
Answer by QuinnMae at 2:56 PM on Jun. 12, 2013
Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:49 PM on Jun. 12, 2013
Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 3:03 PM on Jun. 12, 2013
Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:52 PM on Jun. 12, 2013
Answer by feralxat at 2:53 PM on Jun. 12, 2013
I feel bad, hope it gets worked out too. Take a deep breath & try to remain calm.
Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:57 PM on Jun. 12, 2013
Now that your BF is dealing with his parents, will he be able to handle AND override the damage this boy's mother has done? You are right in more ways than one on this & it's very frustrating when you know the right things that need to be done, but no one is listening. Having a special needs child myself, resisting opportunities that you spoke about (like the aspberger's group for kids his age) is just doing more harm than good for that child. She sounds lazy & bordering on neglectful. I'm glad he has you in his corner. Just take some moments to decompress & for now, practice the art of biting your tongue. Heck, you're on here, you should be used the biting your tongue part! lol :p Hang in there mama- *hugs*
Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:02 PM on Jun. 12, 2013
Answer by louise2 at 3:38 PM on Jun. 12, 2013
Next question overall
My hand swelled up yesterday and itched...Don't know why see no bites.