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2 Bumps

Have you ever had to learn to cope when one of your children is depressed?++

A mess...

We have a very depressed older teen who has been back home from college now. Was an "A" student in HS. First year in college, didn't finish this last semester, gpa in the toilet, lost all financial aid for next year. Won't withdraw from classes (too ashamed, doesn't want to admit failure), won't/can't finish them (can't focus)...this will hurt in the long run if she wants to go back to any school. Won't get a job due to stress/anxiety over dealing with people. Has a car, but needs to pay for gas/insurance.

Is on meds (Leaxapro,) and takes Klonapin for anxiety <sometimes up to 8 of these. If we engage and ask about jobs/school there may be yelling/sobbing about how she hates herself, can't see any future for herself and wants it to be over. Therapist told her that while she may think of suicide, since she doesn't have a "plan" she's not at high risk. This confuses me as I'm not sure what my child shares in therapy. No disclosure as she's an adult.

We've tried to be compassionate, understanding, and offer encouragement and support...but nothing seems to change.
DH and I see a therapist who had rec'd at this point to "detach" and put up a "screen" so as to take care of ourselves and not become too over-involved as we are dealing with an adult (19) and have little control over what she does/doesn't do. (my DH gets pissed at her at times..I just get annoyed-and afraid) Therapist knows how frustrated we are and has said that as much as we want to help her, she cannot seem to accept it at this point. We don't offer money (not loaded by any means) in hopes she will "have" to do something to get some of her own income.

We have another young teen at home who does not seem to be affected by what's going on. Is very different...doesn't worry, is responsible.

Life is messy, stressful, and only tolerable to a degree if we "ignore" the show, so to speak. I almost don't want to come home from work some days. I am by nature strong and optimistic and positive, but...am fearful.

Has anyone, anywhere been through something like this with any of their children? How did/do you cope?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Jun. 13, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Have you tried a different theapist for her?
    I know the first one my daughter had was pretty worthless, put her on some meds and that was about it
    Wehn we moved to a new state- and she got a new doctor things changed. She helped more in 4 months than the first guy did in a year
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:57 AM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • How long was she w/the first one?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:08 AM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • just over a year
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 1:15 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • My stepson, same thing. First therapist didn't do squat for him. Second one was much better. See if you can get her to change counselors.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:35 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

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