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3 Bumps

Need advice please

I've been married 11 years as of this month. I'm to the point of filing for divorce. He cheated several times, gave money to a woman he met online so she could move here without me knowing instead of paying bills. I found out when he left his facebook open. He talks down to me all the time turns everything around on me. He takes zero blame for the problems we have. Like the money he gave that felon, I was upset cause I had to borrow money from mom to pay bills, his excuse was its his money and I don't work. That felon doesn't either. He wont help with house work or anything else cause it wont directly benifit him but when his little slugs need help boom he is right there. When he doesn't get his way he breaks things. He keeps saying I need him and if I left ill be screwed. He is disrespectful and rude. My friends and family stop coming over cause of how he talks and acts. If text or call someone I'm cheating doesn't matter if its my mom my brother my neices or a friend. I feel like crape most days and have no motivation. I used to be this strongwilld and independent, now I feel like nothing. I know a divorce is the only option but I'm scared of failing and losing everything

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Jun. 13, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • think of it this way, you won't be losing everything, you'll actually be gaining more! talk to your mom about staying with her for awhile, because it sounds like he's not going to make this easy for you. i have a feeling your friends and family will be right by your side the whole time.

    and before i forget YOU ARE STRONG MINDED! if you weren't you won't be thinking about getting the divorce. and remember, you got all of us here on cafemom to help you through it too. just release all your vents out on here instead of on a friend or family member.

    good luck
    noel1978

    Answer by noel1978 at 4:48 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • It's not a healthy marriage. Better to start over with nothing than to continue like this.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:44 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • I'm to the point of filing for divorce.

    Ummm, what are you waiting for???? GET OUT!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 4:57 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • Hello doormat. Mind if I wipe my feet on ya??

    Grow some balls!! To not try, is to automatically fail!
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 5:18 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • I'm sorry you have been going through this. But the way I see it he's no good. He's a nacrastic right there for pointing the blame at you. I would say it's time to start over. Get out before you waste anymore years of your life on this loser. He's not worth it. You don't have to be treated like this. YOu always have a choice. I would do it for you he doesn't sound like a very good husband. Don't think divorce, do it. good luck!
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 5:21 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • why are you still with him??????
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 5:21 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • Honey, take out the trash, as in cut loose the asshole. It would be better to start over and live in your mom's basement than to be treated the way he's treating you. He doesn't deserve you; you deserve better. Go!
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 5:46 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • Getting rid of a cheating DH is a good thing. After you get yourself straight. You will feel a lot better.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:51 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • "He talks down to me all the time turns everything around on me." " had to borrow money from mom to pay bills" "He wont help with house work or anything else" "When he doesn't get his way he breaks things." "My friends and family stop coming over cause of how he talks and acts. "

    Read all that over and over again. And then believe what I'm about to tell you:

    If you walked out of the house RIGHT NOW stark naked, you'd have more than you have staying with him. Bevcause you'd have the self-respect to walk away from a bad bad bad situation.

    When he runs out of THINGS to break he'll start on your BONES.

    Get out. RIGHT NOW.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:01 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • run dont look back..
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 10:34 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

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