Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I obligated to tell my friend when by son visits her daughter at LSU?

My friend (my past fiend) daughter is 20 and is dating my 22 year old son. She has been angry at me but has failed to tell me why. She has been avoiding any attempt that I have made to talk to her until today. My (past friend) called me today. She states that when I have spoken to her that I have failed to mention to her that my son was visiting her daughter at LSU. She said that she feels that I am keeping things from her and her husband. I do not get this....HELP

Answer Question

Asked by Donna5172 at 7:44 PM on Jun. 13, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • They are grown ups... You are not obliged to tell her anything. More importantly... why is her DD keeping things from them?

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:50 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • Tell her to grow up... it's not like your kids are in Jr. High!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 7:54 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • That's crazy. Tell your friend there's a five dollar fine for whining.

    Answer by Ballad at 8:04 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • If both the kids are adults, you have no responsibility to keep tabs on their relationship or share details of their relationship with ANYONE else.

    Answer by SWasson at 8:06 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • sounds like your "friend" has issues with her daughter being on her own (and not telling her everything) and is taking them out on you. sounds like you might be better off without her as a friend.

    Answer by okmanders at 8:18 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • They are over the age of 18, you have no obligation to tell her anything. You don't really have an obligation when they're under 18, unless there's something specific. As I told my 12 yr old when he confessed a crush on my friend's daughter, but didn't want my friend to know, "You're my son, and I respect your privacy. I will not tell (my friend) what's between us, unless she asks me a specific question about it. I will not lie to my friend about her daughter." For me, that only applies under 18. Once my son turns 18, if he and my friend's daughter were to be together (which I doubt), and my friend asked, I'd tell her she needs to talk to them about her concerns. I think you should tell your friend the same.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:23 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • You are not obligated to tell her anything. They are adults.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:31 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • They're adults. It sounds like there are other things she feels you are keeping from her. It's really between her and her DD though.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:34 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • No. Maybe her daughter shouldn't be hiding things from her?

    Answer by missanc at 8:46 PM on Jun. 13, 2013

  • Legally they are over the age of 18 so you have no obligation to inform her of anything. It sounds like she needs to sit down with her DD and talk with her and talk with you about what is expected of your friendship. I do not have adult children yet, but I would not feel obligated to tell a friend that my child was spending time with her child. That is up to her child to tell her and I would respect my child's privacy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.