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So now what am I supposed to tell my little girl?

I'm telling you, it just keeps getting better and better. My stepson got in trouble at summer school, and instead of making him do what he needed to so he could finish the course, his mom took the easy way out yet again and withdrew him from the class. My boyfriend called to talk to his ex about the situation. They argued, and although I didn't hear the conversation, the end result was that my stepson, who was at his mom's house, started yelling at my boyfriend that he'd made his own decision about summer school, and calling him names. The ex hung up the phone. My boyfriend and my stepson texted back and forth a bit--basically my stepson is mad at his dad for arguing with his mom, regardless of the reason.

I don't even care anymore. Well, I do, but I'm fed up. My problem is that now my stepson has decided not to come up and stay with us for the next two months. He's mad at his dad for trying to make him grow up and have some accountability, which he doesn't have to do at his mom's house, so he wants to hang out there instead. He always lives here for summer break, and my five-year-old has been counting the days till he arrives, making plans about what they'll do, and so forth. She worships her big brother. She won't understand any of this. All she's going to know is he isn't coming, and she'll be crushed. I'm so sick of this. How ccan I make this easier for her?

 
Ballad

Asked by Ballad at 11:59 PM on Jun. 13, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • He's not the kind of influence you want around your daughter anyway.
    I'd explain to her that he was bad at school, and he isn't allowed to come over and play until he apologizes to his dad.
    And then stress to her this is why she must always do her best in school, and treat others with respect.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:38 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Hopefully they'll come to peace before it's time for him to come.

    If he doesn't, just be honest with her and tell her daddy and brother need a time out from each other for awhile.
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 12:03 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • I would plan some fun stuff, like a trip to the zoo, etc. for her to keep her mind off of him. It sucks, but she'll be fine and you never know, he may simmer down after a while and come anyway.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 12:05 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Tell step son that he can still be angry with his dad but it has nothing to do with his sister and she wants to see him.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 12:32 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • I would just tell her that things have come up and right now, he won't be coming.

    But if it were me....I'd also call your stepson and tell him that he can be as pissed off at his dad if he wants, but it's really crappy of him to punish his little sister, a little girl who adores him.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:35 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • I guess the only thing you can do is tell her that he has made a decision to not come. I don't know that there is any way to save her from the disappointment. That sucks though.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:35 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • This is not the answer but I feel like telling you to get him on the phone and put your DD on the phone to ask him how soon he is coming.
    I know this is probably the best thing, really, but I also know it could totally crush her even more.
    I really do not know what to tell you.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:19 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • After he's cooled down, he may change his mind. I doubt he can stay made for 2 whole months. Maybe just say that plans have changed & then do what tess said, in the meantime, keep her busy w/ fun things. I always enjoy mother/daughter time w/ my little girl. :) *Hugs* It will get better :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:52 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

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