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2 Bumps

How do you nicely tell someone to f*** off?

Last week, my 9 year old DS handed out invites to his birthday party. The same day (Tuesday) he handed them out, this boy called my son to see if he could come over. I said no because we don't do play dates or overnights during the week. This is a well established rule in our house. The next day, I had 3 missed calls all from the same number. I then found 3 voicemails from the mother asking if her son could come over the following day. I called her back and told her we work full time, and aren't home during the day. My DS goes to my mom's or sisters. She then asked if her son could go WITH him. Uh... no.

Not a day has gone by when I haven't had a call from them asking if he could come over. I have explained over and over that we don't host during the week and we have a very busy schedule, but she continues to call. When I don't return her calls, she leaves voicemails that sound like she's pissed off. Never once has she invited my son over, she just wants to leave me to watch her kid "because there's a trampoline and pool" at my house & nothing for them to do at hers.

I don't want to get a bad rapport with a kid that Ben could potentially be really good friends with, (at the moment, he said he barely knows him). So how to I tell her to piss off... nicely?

Answer Question
 
ABeaverhausen

Asked by ABeaverhausen at 10:39 AM on Jun. 14, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 24 (21,466 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Some people have serious issues. Who invites their kid over to someone elses house? That is messed up. I would just tell her to quit calling you, you will call them when you have time for the kid to come over. Explain to her she is being rude and if she wants to call and invite your son to come over that is fine, but you will call her when her kid can come over. Some people are so stupid.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 10:42 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • I'd call her one time and basically tell her,"Listen,as i've metioned numerous times now,we DO NOT do playdates M-F. If your kid wants to come over on the weekend, "I" will call you and let you know when we are available. Until then,I will no longer be taking your calls during the week"
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:49 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • If your son barely knows him, I wouldn't worry about whether he could potentially be good friends with him. I'd first consider that if the mother acts this demanding, it's very likely her son will be the same. And then I'd think about the fact you'll have to continue to put up with this woman if your son and hers do become friends.

    I would just be very blunt with her. "We do NOT host during the week, and we will call you when and if we would like to have your son over. Please stop leaving repeated voice mails and calling numerous times."
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:49 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Well, in the south you could say a number of things and then include 'wee, bless your heart' in with it. If she does not get southern subtlety though, she might just think you are nice or religious.
    I think it would be easier to plan a time for them to hang out during the weekend and let your son get to know him enough to know if he wants to invest time in a friendship with this kid. If not, then just be busy the rest of the summer.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:49 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • I wouldn't push the subject of the kids being friends if they're not already good friends. When kids are friends, you at some point always have to deal with their parents - and this one sounds like a pill.
    I personally would just not return her calls until she gets the hint and leaves me alone.
    anestheticsex

    Answer by anestheticsex at 10:59 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Being from the South I agree with Quinn, kill her with kindness. Next time she calls go on and on about how you are just so sorry that you have to work to be able to afford the trampoline and pool at your house. Tell her how much you want your kids to be friends, etc. Hopefully she will get the point and feel too guilty to call again
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:00 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • It sounds like even though you're not avoiding them intentionally, it's probably best to with the stalkerish way this mom is behaving. You definitely don't want to send her the message that eventually you will cave in and that she can find a free babysitter in you. If you do decide to let him try to pursue the friendship with the boy, I would suggest only public places like a park so that they don't get used to your home being the entertainment center. Is there any way you could temporarily block her phone calls? I was nice to someone that kept calling me constantly and it turned out she really did have a mental disorder. I wouldn't want to risk letting that kind of instability into my children's life. Just keep being a broken record and say no. Keep your boundaries clear. Maybe even just don't respond until you DO have some time for them to hang out. I see no point in answering her calls every time.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 11:05 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • How about setting a definite date for them to play together & specify the hours as well. That should shut her up for a while.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:47 AM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Sadly you really can't unless you don't mind your kid losing a friend. It sucks I have been there but you gotta suck it up for your kids sake... or give it back to her? start calling and nagging her then maybe she will get the hint? good luck
    Beautiful_Mess

    Answer by Beautiful_Mess at 12:16 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Me, I would tell her one more time. M-F No play dates or sleep overs. Weekend, only if we have time. Even then we are bussy. I would have to call you to tell you we could do it. After that. I would ignore her calls.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:20 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

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