Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Question Regarding Children and Financial Responsibility

For father's day, my husband wanted an Otterbox for his iPhone or a new fishing rod. I decided to get him the fishing rod so my five year old and his seven year old decided to save up their allowance to buy him the otterbox. They get five dollars a week and I chipped in for my 18mo's share because she wanted to "buy daddy pwesent". My sister thinks I shouldn't have made them use their money to buy him a present. She thinks I should have either let the present I bought for him be from all of us or bought him something else from the girls. I don't think so. I didn't push them into buying him something. They wanted too. They did the same for me for mother's day. I am trying to teach them how to earn and save money for what they want and what they wanted was to buy daddy a nice present for father's day. She lets her kids save to buy themselves something but she just let her kids help pick out something for daddy and she paid for it.

Now, for stuff they need, like clothes and school lunch, I pay for that. I wouldn't expect them to. They save up money for when we go places like the zoo or Six Flags so they can buy a souvenir or for a toy or a book they want. I don't see what the harm is. So what if it's not for them? When we were kids, we saved our money for father's/mother's day and for their birthdays to buy our parents' presents. I don't know why she has forgotten that lesson.

Answer Question

Asked by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 2:15 PM on Jun. 14, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,775 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I don't see the harm in it. They still get to do other things for themselves with their money so it isn't like they had to save up all year for the present and not have any fun.


    Answer by tntmom1027 at 2:18 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Their allowance they can save it up for what they want. It's not like you're making them spend birthday money on someone else.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 2:18 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • So you want to know who's right?

    It all comes down to different parenting styles. At 5 and 7 I would be more apt to buy the gift and say it's from everyone or let them pick out a gift and I'll pay for it. As they get older, Say 10 and 8 I would let them pick out the present and pay for it themselves. That's how I feel about it. You might feel differently or wish to raise YOUR children differently that's YOU decision. No reason it should become a pissing match between you and others whether it's your sister, your mother, your uncle's grandaughter's baby daddy, or whatever else. 


    Answer by KristiS11384 at 2:19 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Hmm... I let my Son save his money for himself. I wouldn't take his or the baby's money to buy Daddy or Mommy a gift. This is coming from someone who never got an allowance or treats (toys) unless it was a Holiday. But my Parents never used my gift money for me to buy a gift for them either.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:22 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • That's similar to how we handle things. But when my kids ask what I want I usually tell them something in the $5-10 range, knowing that they will be buying it themselves. At Christmas I have been known to spot them a few bucks here and there buying their presents for their siblings (there are 5 of them and it gets expensive!), but overall they pay for presents from them because they WANT to.
    To me, the presents mean more because they sacrificed something they wanted to give instead.

    Answer by missanc at 2:34 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • My five-year-old doesn't get an allowance yet, but if she wanted to pitch in on a gift for Father's Day, I'd let her. She made her dad a card, and that's fine too. I think teaching age-appropriate lessons about saving and spending, prioritizing needs and wants, is very important. Otherwise, yu get clueless young adults drowning in credit card debt.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:46 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Neither of you is wrong. You're just doing it differently.

    I'd have bought the Otter Box, though, and let the kids get the fishing pole.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:47 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • She hasn't forgotten that. she probably didn't like that lesson.  She is not wrong the way she does it. You are not wrong the way you do it. it is just personal preference.


    Answer by louise2 at 3:03 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • I think it's good to raise children to be generous and thoughtful.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 3:08 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • It's not like I'm making them use their own money. They wanted to. They love having their own money and love using it. They also love buying stuff for other people for no reason. My husband went to the dollar store with the two older girls and they wanted to buy me something because I was sick and they buy things for each other and their grandparents from time to time (we are frequent visitor's to the Dollar Tree). My stepdaughter bought me a candle and my daughter bought me a bag of Reeses minis. I decided on the fishing pole and they said "Well, why don't we buy the otterbox?" He picked out one on Ebay he wanted for $25. They each saved up $8.33 and I paid for the baby's third. They wrapped it themselves (it looks like hell but it's the thought that counts) and they each made him a card for daddy and their various grandpas.

    Comment by Razzle_Dazzle1 (original poster) at 3:16 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.