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2 Bumps

How to get through until papers are served?

I'm going to be scheduling appointment Monday to file for divorce. I hope to get in within the next couple weeks. I'm not moving, the house we are in is rent to own and I already discussed it with the landlord. He wants me and the kids to stay in the house and he will do what it takes legally to do so. The house is worth 75k but I'm getting it for 24k. Payment are 300 a month. Its over 3k sq feet 7 bed 3 bath and needs some work..my dream home. So far I put in the time in remodeling. Not my husband. Leaving this house is not an option. I just have to deal with my husband's negativty until papers are served and we can get him out. The constant put downs toward me, our kids, my family and friends. He belittes everyone. I keep telling myself I'm one day closer to being divorced but there are moments where it gets too much. Any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Jun. 14, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Not that it matters the guy we are buying the house from is a friend, he claims me as a daughter and my kids as his grandiose
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:20 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Does he know you are filing for divorce?
    That is awesome about the house. Make sure you tell your lawyer all about the rent to own deal. You might want to write down your thoughts and questions for the lawyer. After meeting with mine (3+ yrs ago), I realized I had forgotten a lot so the next time I was prepared. I bought myself a binder with a notepad inside and pockets. It also zipped up. I wrote down all of my questions for the lawyer, all of my thoughts, and any appointments I had. I was also able to keep the letters from my lawyer, bills, and a pen in that binder. And if my lawyer wanted any documentation, I could put it in there.

    Do you have friends or family that can help you thru this? My divorce was the hardest time in my life and I wouldn't have made it without my awesome support system. Also think about possibly talking to a counselor.

    To be continued
    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 11:30 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • hugsDivorce is like an onion in that there are many layers that often make you cry. There are a lot of women on here that have gone thru a divorce and can give you lots of advice. If you haven't already, check out some of the groups. My ex was very controlling and belittled me every chance he got. Yet he was the one that left since he didn't want to be married. I've since realized that what he did was emotional abuse and quite possibly more damaging than physical abuse. Just keep your head up. Find something to keep yourself busy. Is the weather nice? Can you plant a garden? Good luck. HUGS!

    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 11:36 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • How about shunning him? Just ignore every word out of his mouth. Everyone follows the same rule; pay him NO attention. If he touches anyone then you pick up the phone and call 911.

    But otherwise, you don't see him or hear him. Believe nothing he says. Since he belittles the kids already I'd have no issues telling them they're to ignore and disbelieve every single word out of his mouth; don't believe him even if he says water is wet.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:51 PM on Jun. 14, 2013

  • Gdiamante has a good plan. Additionally, every time the ex-to-be says something belittling or hurtful, just think, "He's gone soon." That sould make letting assholish comments roll off a little easier. Good luck.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:02 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • Yes and no after our last fight I told him I'm done that he should start packing his stuff. He said that he left that I would be screwed. Then he joked about being free. He told my dad off today cause my dad added a chick on facebook and my husband was pissed and told my dad to leave his gf alone. Its like wtf? Even with a printed screen shot my husband denied it. He does this yo too thing one minute he an asa the next acting like nothing is wrong. He hows says my parents wont pay for the divorce cause they know I cant do better. Yeah my parents, my whole family hates him. I already decided that I'm having friends over the day he gets served. Its going to be a reality check for him. Btw excuse the typos autocorrect isn't always kind to me.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:09 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • This will come up in your divorce as contested property. The judge is the one that distributes the real goods and the rent to own is one of those items. Get all your evidence on your work and the money you have put into it (out of your earnings) document everything and make sure the lawyer has all the information, even if it shows you in a bad light.. If the property is rent to own and you have a contract to own on it (the two of you) the landlord has to fulfill his end as long as your end is being met. If there are grounds to dissolve the contract, he would have the power to do that. But if the judge sees fit to grant your husband the rent to own contract, there is nothing the landlord can do. He is bound by the contract.
    This is why it is important to make sure that the lawyer knows everything and is not surprised by anything that is presented in court.
    GL
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:12 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • Document the hell out of everything.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:29 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • If the house is in both your names. Unless he freely leaves and gets a apartment. You just do not automatically get the house.  Even if it is rent to own.  The judge will make that decision. Best theing for you to do is start saving. Just in case he get to stay their.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:21 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • prayers go girl
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 8:05 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

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