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okay so my daughter is cutting what should i do

its been going on for about a year now and i dont want to call the hospital because when i confront her about it she stops for a while but starts right back up and i dont know what to do she refuses to talk to a therapist about anything

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Asked by 1dMOTHER at 3:40 AM on Jun. 15, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I was a self harmer from the age of 8-22. What helped me stop? Dialectical behavioral therapy(DBT for short) find a program in your area and get her into it but realize she also has to want to change the behavior as well. Cutting is a mal-adaptive coping mechanism. The cutting releases endorphines in the brain that make a person feel better.

    Before DBT I had been in and out of hosptials and every other kind of therapy.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 4:22 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • She needs to be in therapy. If she won't do therapy, she needs to be in patient somewhere where she can be monitored and taken care of. These type of things don't resolve on their own. She has some deep seated needs and you need to find out what they are.

    Answer by missanc at 9:13 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • Cutting is inflicting pain on oneself outwardly to signify the pain one is suffering inwardly. In order to help her, someone has to discover and get rid of the source of her inward pain. If you explain it to her that way, maybe she will agree to seeking help. If she doesn't, you will just have to make it happen.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:23 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • She needs to learn to express her feeling a different way. She's obviously trying to cope. Get her help.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 9:41 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • She needs therapy. I'm sorry. :(

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 9:41 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • she needs to go to counseling, and learn better ways of coping with things than cutting. Find someone she feels comfortable talking to. You may have to try a couple. My daughters first doctor did nothing but put her on meds really, but the 2nd one was AMAZING.

    Cutting is something that will come and go, even if they go awhile without doing it- there eventually will be a trigger that causes it to happen again. Learn what those are, so you can help her and be there for her when they happen.

    *I was a cutter and so is my daughter


    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:14 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • I agree with Charlotsomtimes.... I'm now nearly 28 haven't self harmed in 6 years and the word "cutting" still gets to me a bit, not enough to make me do anything but enough to trigger that thought in my mind.

    DBT is great because it teaches healthy coping mechanisms and how to deal triggers and future triggers that may pop up.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 3:51 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • I was a cutter for many years as a teenager. Nobody ever knew that I did it because I didn't tell anyone. I wasn't doing it for attention. I did it to punish myself and because physical pain made the emotional pain easier to deal with. 1 time I cut too deep and I was afraid I would have to tell someone. Then I was afraid I would have scars and I didn't want to explain to my future husband how I got the scars. So I stopped.

    My daughter is a cutter and I have taken her to several therapists, had her on all kinds of medication, and even had her admitted to inpatient for a week. Nothing helped because she mostly does it for attention. She likes the attention so she continues to do it. She gets plenty of attention outside of the cutting. She is just a drama queen and I'm convinced it's a stage she will outgrow.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 8:24 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

  • I'm sorry she is hurting herself, but it seems that tntmom and tempsing have experience in this area and I would definitely take their advice.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 8:42 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

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