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3 Bumps

Language problem or rotten parenting at work? (EXTREME LANGUAGE in direct quotes) adult content

I'm not going to go through and censor every foul word this brat used, and if we can't view them objectively to discuss it, that pretty much settles the question before it even starts: 

GOP Senator Says His Son, ‘N1ggerkiller,’ Who Calls People ‘Faggot,’ Has A ‘Language’ Problem?

Republican U.S. Senator Jeff Flake has apologized for his son’s “language” problem. Tanner Flake, a fifteen-tear old who goes by the name “n1ggerkiller” in a Facebook game, but uses his real name on YouTube, and calls people “faggot” and “Jew,” apparently has also apologized, for his “language.”

More examples of his son's language problem:

 “a reader sends in a sampling of Tanner Flake’s comments from YouTube.”

“you faggot retard pussy piece of crap i hope you die in a hole slowly and painfully”
“you gay fag ni**er go shoot yourself because no body likes you”
“Mexicans are the scum of the earth.”
“Then some ni**er started rapping and I looked at her album art and saw that it was Flo Rida.”
“Stupid little ni**er”
“go die in a hole you stupid ni**er”
“The black guy always fails first…”
“Yes, because one white dude goes nuts. No. Black people do crap like this all of the time.”
“When he called himself a cheap jew i loled hard”

(btw, does anyone else find it interesting that the media self-censors one slur, but leaves the rest intact?)

I honestly don't care about the political leanings of the parent, which is why I'm not including the entire article, which does.  The whole thing is at the link for anyone interested in the senator's voting history. I'm asking about the parenting - is this something a rebellious 15 year old does out of the blue, or is this what they were raised to believe?  Is it likely a 15 year old will develop such a rich bigot vocabulary without being immersed in it?

Answer Question

Asked by NotPanicking at 11:30 AM on Jun. 15, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 51 (421,174 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • He had to learn that level of intolerance from someone. Most likely it was a family member. He didn't just randomly decide to start calling other races nasty names one day. This is something he was taught, most likely by watching how other members of his family talk and treat others.

    Answer by kmath at 11:37 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • This is a tough one NP because being raised in KY from the early 60's, I was surrounded by racist comments, games, segregation etc by the very people who were my family. Parents, aunts, uncles etc. Unfortunately, they're all the same today.
    I broke free of all that racial B.S. and am a better person for it.
    It makes me wonder if this child was raised right but chose the wrong friends and lashed out on FB and elsewhere because his parents were too busy doing other things than parenting.

    I'm a good mom and my children's bad decision making is not a reflection of me or DH.
    Sometimes, I wonder if society finds it easier to blame the parents.....

    I have seen great parents whose children turn out in their teen years to be hellions! Teenagers need their parents guidance more than anything during their teenage years. IMO.

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 11:45 AM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • Hate is not genetically born into someone, it is a learned behavior.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 12:05 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • It is very difficult to accept his parents are ignorant and unaware their son has issues with race and ethnicity. First, to be gaming on line so frequently responsible parents, to a 15, should be periodically checking and monitoring their teen's computer habits. I do not care to helicopter my child but certainly I reserve the right to occassionally and randomly sift through the history of the computers, texts, pictures and voicemails to be assured the privledge is still deserved. Yikes! This kid, irresponsible and vulgar teen, should be held accountable for his "language." His parents should have questions asked of where were you? What gave your kid the thought he is entitled to say those things? What environment do you set up that makes it okay for him to express himself in such a way? So yes, yes I do hold the parents responsible for their son's obvious problems.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • Stuff like that is learned. If not at home, then somewhere else. Even then, it can be corrected with good parenting.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 12:10 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • question would be are his parents even around him that much? Senators arent always known to be really hands on in their kids lives, especially once they become teenagers. are his friends also "language challenged"? and is he being truly hateful or is he just a stupid kid who thinks he's funny...cause a lot of comedians use those same words (except faggot). im sure its a mixture of all of the above (family life, friends, environment, etc)

    either way this kid doesnt have a language problem, he has a "didnt get punished enough" problem or an "im stupid" problem or a "my parents are also hateful" problem. anyone with half a brain knows those words are unacceptable and hateful and i betcha the Senator only cares b/c it may keep him from getting reelected.

    Answer by okmanders at 1:29 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • First, to be gaming on line so frequently responsible parents, to a 15, should be periodically checking and monitoring their teen's computer habits.

    Not only that, but this was facebook game. Presumably there's a family member friended to his facebook somewhere along the line. It's hard to believe this was a mystery to everyone prior to it being publicized.

    Comment by NotPanicking (original poster) at 1:42 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • I take issue with the phrase "language problem." It makes the kid sound like he has a disability, and although being vulgar and rude is unsavory, it's not a disability. It's in his control. The kid ha a rudeness problem, an intolerance problem, but not a language problem.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:52 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • It's learned behavior. Joe Heck's son was just on the local news for some similar rants. Really makes me wonder what they're saying in their homes.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 2:26 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • I think it's a parenting issue. I can't picture someone who was raised with tolerance just suddenly turning around one day and deciding to use that language, or trying to use it to fit in - and being so comfortable using it. There's too much comfort there for it to be a sudden change. And I don't think that he's been exposed to friends who feel that way without supervision his whole life to have gotten it from them. I think if it didn't come directly from the parents, it came from their lack of attention allowing him to expose himself to this kind of intolerance, which still makes it a result of parenting.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 3:55 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

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