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2 Bumps

Empty Nest syndrome before the kiddos are even out of the house????

Ok, so I know a lot of mom's are prob. going to think I'm being a total baby about this, but here goes....

I have 4 kids. Next school yr. 3 of them will be in school, & in 3 yrs. they will all be in school. My oldest will be a senior, the yr. my youngest starts kindergarden.... I know I'm going to try to go back to work full time, when this happens, since the only reason I'm not working full time now, is because I'd basically be working to pay for child care for my 2 youngest, which is pointless.

This fact, that my oldest, who I'm really close w/, will be heading off to college in a few yrs, & my other 3 will all be in school, reminds me of how quickly they are growing up, & it's been really depressing me lately.... It's like I'm going through empty nester's syndrome before any of them are even out of the house yet. Which makes me wonder how i'm going to cope when I actually have to face the first one leaving "the nest" & the other 3 following yrs after....

Any other mommy's deal w/ this in the past, or dealing w/ this now? How do you get past the sadness of your babies, growing up, & getting ready to go out into the world on their own? I was 16 when I had my oldest, & she's pretty much my best friend, besides my dh. We talk about everything, & the other 3 are my babies..... ugh.... How do I shake this depression & just enjoy the time I've got left w/ them all at home?

Answer Question
 
HappyEndings

Asked by HappyEndings at 12:25 PM on Jun. 15, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,438 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I didn't have much of a problem with my kids starting school.  Or when they left home after high school was over.  Now when they left home. It did take a while to get use to the being gone.  I felt funny for them to not be their daily. But on the other hand it was nice.  No more responsibility. 

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:36 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • By the time this come around you will be a wreck until you realize that you are sending out into the world your master piece. The responsibility for me never ends, mine are in the thirties and one in the middle twenties, and I am very much a part of all of their lives. They make their own decisions, but always run the decision by me to get my feed back, in the end they decide....the stage one enters when they leave is strange, sad and rewarding at the same time, don't fret it is really awesome watch them evolve.....and when grandchildren come, you get to relive it all over again from an spectator point of view, life is good.
    older

    Answer by older at 12:49 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • I always thought of child rearing as being my "job" and I really did put my whole self into it. As a part of that, I saw it to be my responsibility to prepare them as best I could to live in the world. I tried to release them gradually and to prepare them for each step. It was a very demanding task, and there were no breaks. I left off a lot of things that I really enjoyed doing so I could devote more time to my "job." I found new things that I wanted to try when I had extra time. I have never gone back to what most would consider real work, and I am probably busier than I've ever been. I get to help with my grandchildren. I have 2 volunteer spots. I meet with some younger women who are struggling with child rearing and marriage and who are trying to make it all work for them. My children have done and are doing well, so I feel that my life has been worthwhile and I hope it will be until the day I die. Look ahead!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:02 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • I know how you feel. I get kind of sad and excited all at the same time when I think of my daughter going to kindergarten in the fall. But it's more fun to look ahead and be excited than it is to look back and be sad, so I just try to redirect my thoughts where I want them to go.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:42 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • http://www.cafemom.com/answers/1340627/My_youngest_is_graduating_high_school_and_I_feel_weird


    This reminds me of a question that was asked a couple of days ago.  I think some of the responses in that post can help with what you are talking about.  *hugs*

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:54 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

  • oh yea, my daughter went to the airforce at 17, i had to go to a counselor because i cried and was depressed like she had died, i thought i was a bad mom. my counselor told me it was normal to mourn especially when they move so far away and can't talk to them while there in boot camp. so what ever your going to feel or are feeling it's ok it's normal to feel that way.
    dsmith909

    Answer by dsmith909 at 6:44 PM on Jun. 15, 2013

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