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To move or not to move

I'm a single mom of three. My ex-husband remarried and moved 13+ hours away, he sees our kids once a year and sometimes calls on birthdays, but rarely at any other point in the year and hardly ever pays child support. I have an awesome job offer in Minnesota that would greatly improve our situation, but he is giving me massive crap about taking the kids even farther away from him. Seriously? Should I even take his feelings into consideration being that he is far from a hands on father? It wouldn't be difficult for me to get permission from the court to move, however, if granted he is threatening to move for full custody (like that would ever happen). Thoughts?

Answer Question
 
txgrlatheart1

Asked by txgrlatheart1 at 3:02 PM on Jun. 17, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 7 (166 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Just move. He can pay his lawyer to try to stop you. If he can't afford child support, how will he afford an attorney?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 3:06 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

  • Get permission and go. It doesn't sound as if your ex makes that muchof an effort as it is, and good job offers are hard to come by.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:07 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

  • I would go. It sounds like the best thing for you and the kids. If he was an active participant in their lives it would be different. Do what is best for your kids and don't worry about him.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 3:11 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

  • I would go. He only sees them once/year as it is so its not like anything would change
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:17 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

  • I agree. I am going to take the job, but for some reason I still feel guilt. I have always felt it over our divorce and he blames me when he doesn't call or show up for visitation. It's exhausting.
    txgrlatheart1

    Comment by txgrlatheart1 (original poster) at 3:23 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

  • If you have to get permission. It say in your divorce papers something about it. Best to be legal about it all. He is probably just giving you a hard time, because he can.

    How did he find out you where thinking about moving out of state?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:25 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

  • Just move. But get permission first. First prove he hardly pays child support then next prove it rarely sees the kids as it is and rarely calls. Or just tell him to take you to court off the bat, point out the court will see he hasn't paid his child support which may result in him going to jail or it may be re-evaluated and he will be forced to pay more and have he's checks garnished.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 3:31 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

  • 13 hours??
    Did he move to Asia?
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:37 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

  • Butterfly blue

    From Salt Lake to Seattle is 12-13 hours away. It depends if there is mountains to go around or not
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 3:41 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

  • I say move. If he hasn't taken the time out to see them while you are close enough then he sure won't make the time whent they are gone. Don't let him bully you into staying. If you can do something to benefit your family then I say do it.

    That is why I tell people if you are divorcing with children in the picture, make sure to get in the orders no geographic restrictions. I had that put in mine and I can move anywhere. I am not going to have someone telling me where I can and can't go.
    goofygalno1

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 3:44 PM on Jun. 17, 2013

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