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I've come to realize that by having my s**t together,I'm taken for granted

i've always been the person that (mostly) did all the right things. I've always taken care of myself;not relied on anyone for anything. I'm the one people come to for advice...and favors. Because of this,everyone feels like they don't have to ask me how I am,if i need anything. They figure i'm just peachy all the time.When i've mentioned to people that no one ever asks how i'm doing,I get the deer in the headlight look and "well you ARE ok,aren't you"? Well mostly,yes,but i've had some bad things happen,and we struggle with things,but no one seems to care. They figure that on the surface,I seem to be fine.Just because i'm not someone who is constantly in need,it doesn't mean i don't want people to ask how I am.

Can anyone relate?

 
butterflyblue19

Asked by butterflyblue19 at 11:19 AM on Jun. 19, 2013 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Ummmm... Yeah I'm with ya
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 11:31 AM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • Yes that is me except when I was hurting or needed help I opened my mouth and said something. People came flying to support me, in my times of need.

    I do not feel taken advantage of because I am "together" because that is what is right for me. I have been the go to gal since I was perhaps 8. I am fine with it.

    You can't expect others to just know you are having a bad time and need a little support. You have to make it known.

    When you got the look and the question of, well, you are alright aren't you? did you tell them no and I really need someone to talk to or did you brush it off and shay well yeah, of course I am alright?
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:02 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • I get it, I really do, although mostly I feel that way in terms of people wanting to borrow money or being jealous because I'm not always hard up when it's because I've saved and been careful. As far as people asking how you are, if there's one thing I've learned about that over the years, it's that people don't read minds. You might not feel it's fair that you have to, but reach out. Those you have supported, or at least some of them, will gladly be there for you if they know you need them.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:33 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • I'm sorry. Sometimes people have a hard time thinking beyond themselves.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:00 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • I'm with ya on this one. I guess we just make it look so easy they figure we can handle anything on our own
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:05 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • It's the price of being extremely competent. **smile** It's probably never occurred to anyone that you might NOT be doing all right.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:40 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • Oh man, I completely understand this.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:03 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • There are two types of people. Those that wait to be asked and those that just start venting whenever things aren't perfect in their world. Maybe you have been trained to wait to be asked. If that isn't working for you then open your mouth. Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. It isn't just what other people do and say to you. You need to change what you do and say to get a new result.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 12:11 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • I'm in a position where people THINK I have my shit together, but I really don't.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:20 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • group hug So sorry - but that's what you have US for right?! WE care :p

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:34 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

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