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3 Bumps

Should i be this way?

My husband started a new job about 3 months ago. He has worked different hours every since. Iundrrstand he needs sleep but I let him sleep for at least 8 hours a day! After that all he wants to do is lay on the couch and SLEEP more! But if one of his friends wants to go fishing or something so be it. He is right on top of that.

I'm getting fed up with it. It is literally driver ng me crazy. I just want to throw something at him as hard as I possibly can. I want to leave and never come back. I can't stand him. But we have one kid and one in the way so that's the only thing stopping me from leaving him. Plus I have no job and really nowhere to go. Idk what to do but this is making me crazy!

I'm not just ill with him. It makes me I'll with my 3 year old son!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Jun. 19, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • Hun, I don't care what the circumstances are if you are unhappy make a plan to get out, bringing a kid in this hostile environment is not good either....
    older

    Answer by older at 2:28 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • Was he like this when he worked at another job? Maybe give him some time to get use to his new job and different hours.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:30 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • You have to tell him how you feel. Three months should be enough time for him to adjust to his new schedule. Tell him how it seems like he has energy for things he likes to do, but not for his family. Ask if you can plan some time for just the family & for just the 2 of you. If he won't meet you half way, it's counseling or divorce. GL

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:32 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • He didn't want to sleep he just wanted to do other things to get away from us. If it was just going outside to build something he would do it just to get away from us.

    And I'm very unhappy. I can't stand him at all! I make myself like him. I do love him with all my heart and I just worry that I would be worse without him. I don't know if its just BC I'm pregnant or what but something has to give. I thought about going to stay with my mom for a week or so and see how things go but I just cant bring myself to do it. Bc he always says something to make me feel guilty or like I'm the bad guy!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:34 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • Take the week to go to your mom's. Sounds like you need the break & maybe your absence will help him see what he's missing. If not, then you're half way there to starting a life w/out him. Seems like you have that anyway.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:38 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • have you tried having an honest serious discussion with him? not yelling at how bad he is, not passive aggressively giving hints to your feelings, and not pouting like a child? men need direct statements to get how women feel. use only I statements...none of this "you always act like you hate us" but rather "i feel like you dont want to spend time with us anymore". plan some activities out of the house as a family, something he will enjoy too. what do you want him to do when he's home and not sleeping? dont accuse or take a moral high ground.

    stop waiting for him to realize you're not happy...do something about it! and dont use your kids as an excuse to be unhappy. be an adult and work on this WITH your DH, you're a team. if he wont be part of the team, refuses counseling, then leave...unhappy mom =s unhappy kids.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 2:43 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • Do you have friends with whom you can spend time? Women who have children the same age as yours? Sometimes, men can feel overwhelmed if their wives are emotionally totally dependent on them. Most men deal with anything that makes them even slightly uncomfortable by running away or by going into hiding.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • I have talked to him about it in a nice way and he says he will try to do better and blah blah blah. He doesn't care about anything new but himself. If we do go out and do something as a family which I have to beg him to do! He sits off to the side as if he's miserable. I do have a few friends with children my sons age but we never hang out. That's definitely something I need to start doing BC I am very dependent on my husband.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:57 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • OK, I personally think that you feeling like this is partially due to being pregnant. I was a looney when I was pregnant. Everything pissed me off. That being said, I've been married 20 years & I can speak from experience. When we are upset, frustrated, irritable (for what ever reason) We give off a bad vibe. I am not blaming you at all since we have all been there in some way but I have some recommendations. First, get a hobby. Even a simple thing like a daily walk. Make yourself do it. Maybe a club at night or when someone can watch your child. Crafts, sell stuff on ebay, painting etc. Become happy with yourself & others will be drawn to you including your DH. He probably sees you are unhappy & he's just tired & Men do not know how to make us happy when we aren't. So this is up to YOU! Get happy doing your own thing & soon the relationship will be better. GL!

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:11 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

  • BTW by club I mean book club or yoga etc. NOT a dance club! LOL!
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:12 PM on Jun. 19, 2013

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