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I need some advice...behavioral.

I have asked questions about Torren before, but it was about school and being overwhelmed.

This question is about behavioral issues. He has been having more and more melt downs. He's 5 1/2 now. He has never had this many. In years past he would have similar melt downs but it was only perhaps a handful of times each year. Now it seems nearly every week.

I can't get him to stay in a corner or bed to calm down as he is getting bigger, he will kick and hit at times as well. He has a doctors appointment scheduled for July 8th so I plan on discussing it with him as well.

I don't think I'm doing anything to wrong, I follow through with punishment, he gets plenty of exercise, eats pretty healthy(but if you can give me some examples of a good diet to follow I welcome it). He flipped out today because I wanted him to go play in his room.

I did finally get him to stay in his room, with help from his father and he has fallen asleep, I think I need to reinstate nap time, which is going to be a fight in of itself.

What I need help with...

-Diet ideas would be great
-how to handle a child that is growing and can get violent(not extreme but enough to make handling him difficult)
-ideas on disclipline and how to get him to calm down when he gets so worked up.

Any ideas and advice is greatly appreciated and I hope this all made sense.



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tntmom1027

Asked by tntmom1027 at 6:31 PM on Jun. 20, 2013 in Special Needs

Level 27 (31,955 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • I don't know much about it, but have heard Fiatpax recommend the Feingold diet.  

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 6:34 PM on Jun. 20, 2013

  • I should probably add that this tantrum lasted about 30-40 minutes before I was able to leave the room and a good 15 mins after that.

    Quinnmae: thanks I'll look into it.
    tntmom1027

    Comment by tntmom1027 (original poster) at 6:36 PM on Jun. 20, 2013

  • Does he get high fructose corn syrup? Jacob goes nuts when he gets it. I can always tell if he's eaten the school's ketchup.
    Depending on how much you're willing to do, I would suggest looking into martial arts - for both of you. It teaches respect and self control (for him) but also simple self defense (for you). Don't laugh, but there were a couple of times just putting a flailing kid into a quick hold would make him stop. It's also a constructive way to get out aggression.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 6:40 PM on Jun. 20, 2013

  • My 15 yo has autism. Between 5-8 he would have awful tantrums that lasted for long times. I would sit on his bed and hold him in my lap with my arms around his to keep him from hurting me or himself. I don't know if that was the best way to handle it but I do know that around 8 he turned into the most mild mannered compliant child and has remained that way. His last tantrum where he showed any aggression was over 5 years ago.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 6:46 PM on Jun. 20, 2013

  • He doesn't get much of it no and he definitely didn't have any today or yesterday. He eats pretty healthy, his teacher mentioned it at school to(asking if he had sugary stuff for breakfast that day) but there was never a correlation, as the days he had more trouble in class he had the same thing or similar thing for breakfast as every other day.

    I did have to put him in a hold to get him from hitting until I could finally walk out of the room.

    I was thinking about looking into martial arts but unfortunately don't have the income to do so right now.
    tntmom1027

    Comment by tntmom1027 (original poster) at 6:46 PM on Jun. 20, 2013

  • Yes, unfortunately martial arts can get really expensive. It sucks, because I think a lot of kids would benefit from it.
    Is it just aggression, or does he have other mood swings? Does he get upset and cry easily? I put my youngest on DMG around that age. It didn't take it away, but it toned the mood swings down and he would calm down faster.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 6:51 PM on Jun. 20, 2013

  • Missanc: Can I ask how you child was in other areas? Meaning was he "different' in other areas as well? Torren is great academically, verbally, and seems to do well socially. He does get overwhelmed at times, has always had trouble with louder sounds(doesn't even like our toilet still), has always had some "OCD" tendencies. His preschool teacher told me, if he sees a toy or item out of place he HAS to go and put it away no matter what he is doing, he has to finish one project before moving on to another, would have fights with the other children if he thought they weren't putting items away right or doing a project that correct way/order.

    Like I said I plan on discussing all this with the doctor but wanted to get others view points as well.
    tntmom1027

    Comment by tntmom1027 (original poster) at 6:53 PM on Jun. 20, 2013

  • What is DMG? He does have mood swings which I worry about as his biological father wasn't very stable(long story).

    My husband and I were discussing that as well after the tantrum settled down.
    tntmom1027

    Comment by tntmom1027 (original poster) at 6:55 PM on Jun. 20, 2013

  • THIS is the DMG I use.  You can do a quick search and see it being used for a lot of different things like ADHD and autism.  It's considered a food and is very safe.

    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 7:00 PM on Jun. 20, 2013

  • Try to just avoid the issues all together. lol. So we have a daily routine as transitions are a big trigger for our boy. In the morning we go over everything we will be doing as well as the things we *might* be doing. (After lunch we need to go to the grocery store. I might need to stop at the farmers market after. We we get home it will be video game time. After snack we will go to the pool.) We keep him up on what is next all day long. We give warnings between activities. (In 20 minutes you will have to turn off the games...10, 5, 3, off) We use A LOT of first and then contingencies. ( FIRST you need to clean this mess up and THEN we can get a snack-your choice) If there are multiple things I need him to do that he will not want to do he is given a white board with a list. All of the things have to be done but he has complete control over what order they happen in...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:05 PM on Jun. 20, 2013

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