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2 Bumps

Hopeless plz help 3wk postpartum

Hello guys gave birth to my baby boy at 36 weeks , I totally was caught off guard and didn't know I would be giving birth early , I got sick and couldn't keep any food or liquids down for 2 days and decided to go to the hospital , welp they put me on fluids and checked my cervix ugh I guess that aggravated baby and made me start contracting. I had originally said that I wanted to enjoy the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy but now I feel robbed because I didn't get a chance to. My ds was born and weighed 5 lbs and they considered him to be a preemie , this the first time I have ever had a preemie and its a lot of care , affection and attention I have 2 other kids ds5 and dd2 and also a fiance , everything has been in total shambles. Lately df just told me I don't show anyone affection or attention but the baby and Its not fair to me he feel this way because I have to show the baby way more attention he's very tiny and fragile and needs my undivided attention , I breastfeed and is always up to care for him while df sleeps but in the morning and sometimes throughout the day he takes care of the other 2.But I still give bath's and help as much as I can , I still clean the house , and just washed clothes ... But df says I dont pay anyone attention sigh I have been trying to but I'm also having a really hard time with postpartum depression and since baby came early I had to spend out of our rent money to get a few things we needed now the rent is late , and in the mist of df trying to make the money back he saw our car getting towed this morning sigh money we don't even have , and we live in apts where the tow truck tow ppl for no reason omg I'm so stressed I can't even enjoy my new baby plz somebody help me

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Jun. 21, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I'm so sorry things have bene tough, you need to see a doctor right away to evaluate your possible postpartum depression, those things are serious. Is there anyone that can help you out? Having a preemie is very costly yes and it can be very stressful.

    Answer by Sillylins at 11:06 AM on Jun. 21, 2013

  • Call your doctor and let him or her know that you feel you may be experiencing postpartum depression. There are free programs in many areas that will send visiting nurses to help access your well being and help you cope. Your doctor can hopefully help connect you. You sound overwhelmed and perhaps df can get more affection from you if he can take some of the everyday burden from you. Let him know that you love and need him. It is a rough time but with a little extra help you state of mind can improve. GL

    Answer by tessiedawg at 11:12 AM on Jun. 21, 2013

  • Your boyfriend is asking a lot of you right now. Tell him to giv you a few months. You need to recover from childbirth and get your world balanced again, and then after that you might be more concerned with giving him affection. A full term baby is enough to manage, a preemie and two other kids is a big load.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:54 PM on Jun. 21, 2013

  • Omg I would be stressed out if I were in your situation, too. But at least you recognize that it's a symptom of everything you're going through. You need to find help, even temporary help. Is there any family who can help you out for a week or watch the baby? Can you afford a babysitter for 1-2 hours a week? Maybe a neighbor you know well and can trust? You need to get on medication for the depression. Find a free clinic. In the meantime, tell your boyfriend that you need his support right now because you are suffering from depression. If you do not get through this, then that means he will have to care for the baby. Ask him if he's prepared to do that? If not, then he better start supporting you pronto.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 8:42 PM on Jun. 21, 2013

  • I want to come pound on your DF with my baseball bat... you're still cleaning and doing laundry?

    Please talk to your doc about the postpartum depression. And start looking for another place that doesn't tow at the drop of a hat, if there's no lease concern. You can also consider taking the landlord to small claims if they towed for no reason.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:34 AM on Jun. 22, 2013

  • You definitely need to get some help with your postpartum depression. If you sit down and explain everything to your df then maybe he will understand and help out some. You certainly need to solicit some help from friends and family. That's what they are there for. You just need to be willing to ask. I'll be praying for you.

    Answer by drowning163 at 10:58 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

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