Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

He said what?!

What have you done or what would you do if your teen or tween refused to do any chores unless you paid him?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Jun. 22, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • Same answer I gave in "Tweens":

    Hah! Start "billing" them for all the things you do for them- like cook, clean, laundry, taxi-service, etc. If that doesn't work, then stop doing extra favors, like no special treats/snacks, movie or game rentals, etc. Make it clear that everyone in the family needs to pitch in to help the home run more smoothly.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:28 AM on Jun. 22, 2013

  • take his tv or video games or ground him until chores get done

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:13 AM on Jun. 22, 2013

  • Refuse to do chore, will get all your perks taken away. Cell, games, tv out of his room. Any money he gets from you normaly.

    Answer by louise2 at 12:05 PM on Jun. 22, 2013

  • And things you do for the kid. Stop. As in washing there cloths. Making them meal. They can still eat. You just are not going to fix it for them.

    Answer by louise2 at 12:07 PM on Jun. 22, 2013

  • I would tell him he is part of the family, and he does chores to contribute. I would tell him, and show him if necessary, that I'm required to feed him, but it can be just bread and peanut butter. No sodas, no candies, no favorite meals. I'm required to house him, but that just means clean clothes and a place to sleep. It doesn't mean a TV, designer tennis shoes, etc. He can have a pleasant life in the family if he cooperates, and a not-so-pleasant one if he doesn't. That's why I'm not big on paying kids for chores anyway.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:22 PM on Jun. 22, 2013

  • I probably would sit with my unpleasant internal reaction. And hopefully I would view that comment from him as a signal that something is WAY out of whack inside him. In other words, I'd hope to recognize that it's happening for a reason & to focus on addressing the underlying cause or the actual problem, rather than reacting to the signal (or the symptom of the problem) and thus contributing to that underlying cause. And then I'd take time to reflect on the family dynamic.

    I'd want to reflect on how we have been operating, whether our way of interacting with the kid(s) has promoted a tit-for-tat kind of mentality that results in alienated "what's in it for me?" feelings, and what might help to correct that dynamic. Or whether something is really wrong & his oppositional, provocative behavior suggests a big upset.

    Hopefully I would see it as signaling something that needs attention, and thus would respond constructively!

    Answer by girlwithC at 4:22 PM on Jun. 22, 2013

  • girlwithC In your view what could be wrong???

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:51 AM on Jun. 23, 2013

  • if he won't do any chores unless u pay him here's what u do u make up a chore sheet with him and by yourself u do the days of the week on it and how much he would get paid and after he's done a week of his chore sheet like Sun-Sat he brings it to u and u and him count up how much money he earned during the week and how much money he earned that would be his allowance for the week and u guys keep doing through the months and see how long u guys can go without quitting it.

    Answer by DaCs500 at 5:28 PM on Jul. 15, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Teens (13-17)
13 year old son problems

Next question overall (Tweens (9-12))
He said what?