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2 Bumps

No respect

My son doesn't have respect for his sibilings. He has a sister 1 year younger then him and he calls her slut, whore, bitch ect. I have tried everything from grounding him, talking with him about it and taking away phone or laptop. What should I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Jun. 23, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • Make him get a part time job or volunteer somewhere.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:38 PM on Jun. 23, 2013

  • ON what planet would he think it's OK to speak to his sister that way?! Is there a lot of name-calling that goes on in your home? I like the idea of making him work or volunteer. At least that will get him away from her for a while, but it still won't get to the root of the problem. How about having him sit down & write down 5 POSITIVE things about his sister. Then post them on the fridge as a reminder.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:54 PM on Jun. 23, 2013

  • What is he learning from the environment he is in?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 3:57 PM on Jun. 23, 2013

  • Make him write an essay on why it's wrong to call his Sister names. Make him write 300 words, and he has to read it out loud to her in front of the entire family. Tell him he will do this, and it will be grammatically correct as well as heart felt, and he will redo it if he doesn't do it right.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 4:14 PM on Jun. 23, 2013

  • not saying its ok to call names

    the first thing that came to mind, since they are close in age and attending the same school? has she done something to soil her reputation and he is acting out because of it?

    either that or your son is an ass. and in a year or so when he goes out into the big wide world the girls he brings home to you, that tolerate being called that are not the ones you want mothering your granchildren

    like mrsmom- trying to understand the root of the problem
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 4:19 PM on Jun. 23, 2013

  • Respect has to be taught. Makes me think he's getting wrong teaching from somewhere. So I would look to find the root of the problem and remove it. Then I would work on making there be some pretty stiff consequences for not learning and showing respect to his sister and to everybody else.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:45 PM on Jun. 23, 2013

  • How old are your children??? I would not allow my son to talk to his sister like that!!! Make him write an essay about how he loves his sister! Also I would make him sit on the sofa holding his sisters hand every single time he calls her a name!!! I also I would spank my son if he did that to his sis! I only have girls but I would do the same thing if one were a boy!!
    rachel216

    Answer by rachel216 at 4:57 PM on Jun. 23, 2013

  • Every time he calls her a name or says something mean to her, he has to do one of her chores or help her with something as a favor. That should get his head out of his ass.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 5:27 PM on Jun. 23, 2013

  • respect is taught and if you dont start at a young age then you're screwed. your son learned to be like this from someone and its being reinforced somehow. get him away from the person modeling this behavior and try to figure out what is reinforcing it (attention from you, making someone laugh, makes him feel better about himself).
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 5:39 PM on Jun. 23, 2013

  • Is there a good father figure in his life? If not, then you might want to look for one. There are many city programs that connect families and kids with mentors and big brother/big sisters to be role models. You also need to reinforce it whenever he behaves well (if he does at all). That way he sees no incentive to keep behaving badly. Start small with asking him to do a few small chores and immediately reward him. Don't mention the reward in advance but let it be a surprise. Be sure to connect the good behavior with rewards. For example, say, "Because you cleaned up your room and took out the trash, I am going to let you pick any video game you want that's reasonably priced."
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 5:45 PM on Jun. 23, 2013

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