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Punishment?

My DD somehow found some scissors and cut off locks of her long pretty hair. All in the front so know she has jagged looking bangs and also cut a few places so short its about 1/8 of an inch. She did this within minutes, I told her to go brush her teeth and she did, I can see her into the bathroom but when I was brushing her hair, clumps were coming out. That's when I found out she cut her hair.
So as punishment I am going to cut her long pretty hair, like a bob cut. Something that will try and blend her little handy work. Is that to harsh of a punishment? She has hair to the middle of her back right now. We were trying to grow it out, like she wanted. I sent her to bed right after I found out.
What would you do? Keep the long hair but try to maybe frame it? Or cut it to show her that's what happens when she does stuff like that?
Her dad wanted to buzz it or give her a boy cut, like a bowl cut, which is NOT going to happen. Her hair takes a long time to grow and I don't want her being teased in kindergarten for having very short hair.

 
LostSoul88

Asked by LostSoul88 at 10:39 AM on Jun. 24, 2013 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • I wouldn't "punish her"
    it is totally normal for kids to do this- my daughter did it not once, but TWICE!
    first time wasn't so bad-but the second time -she cut a big chunck right on the top of her head basically to her scalp. she ecnded up looking like a baby skinhead-with a short pixie cut and fringe around the edges...

    Just get it cut the best way you can aroud what she's done. And have a talk about how dangerous scissors can be
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:43 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Kids do that - both my boys did, too, but it wasn't as big a deal since boys have short hair anyway. lol

    If there's no way to blend the cut hair in to what she has now, I'd say cutting it isn't so much a punishment as a simple correction of the "damage" she did, and I would just point it out to her as a natural consequence - when you cut chunks of your hair, we have to get it cut for real so that it looks good. I would also maybe mention that if she wanted a hair cut, she could have simply said so, because I know one of my boys did that when he was ready for a cut, and the appointment I'd gotten the following week wasn't soon enough for him.

    I'd cut it enough to make it look good, if it's necessary. Beyond that, I'd maybe put the scissors up and make her have to ask for them when she wants to use them and then supervise closely, telling her that she's shown you she can't be trusted alone with them and she has to earn trust
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:59 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • My DD did the same a few months back. I think she actually tried to cut herself some bangs while she was at school. I didn't notice until I was trying to pull her hair back into a ponytail. I ended up having to take her to a hairdresser to have them blend in what she chopped off. Sad too, because she has curly hair which doesn't look particularly good when it's short. If she sweats or it gets a little humid her hair curls up into springs and it ends up looking like a clown. I think I got lucky enough that she didn't do too much damage. I'm not big on bangs, so of course it felt more tragic to me than to her. Plus her hair grows super slow, so that doesn't help either.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:46 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • No punishment needed. All kids cut their hair. Mine had long curly hair down to her waist by the time she was 3. It's a thick head of hair as well. She came out grinning holding a bunch of hair saying "I cut mommy". Needless to say I wanted to cry but instead simply told her she needed to throw it away. That's when she started crying "But mommy put it back on!" All I could do was cut the rest of it so it looked decent and now 2 years later we have kept it short. She's much happier and a whole lot less tangles. Until she's ready to take care of it we're keeping it that short.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 10:58 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • *ended up
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:44 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • *Ugh- forgive my stupid typos, I guess ended wasn't the only one...I seriously need to go get my coffee (have not had any yet)
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:50 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • ive only had one kid do that- my youngest. when i got upset she tried to put the hair back lol! i was more concerned with her (a 3 year old) having the scissors so close to her face and thats why i initially got upset. luckily it was just one snip. the scissors are put up but she managed to get a stool and find them. i just had the 'scissors are dangerous and you can't cut your own hair' talk with her and left it at that.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:14 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • My middle son did that when he was little. We did not punish him but used it as a 'live and learn' lesson. He found scissors and cut a big chuck of hair out in his 'bangs' area. He cut it almost down to the skin so there really was not much hair for my cousin (a stylist) to work with. She ended up giving him a buzz cut. He did not like sitting for the clippers (he has sensory issues) so the next time he thought about cutting his hair we would remind him that the last time he played barber he ended up getting a buzz cut with the clippers. Just the thought of having to sit thru the clippers again stopped him from playing barber shop again.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:18 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • My feedback:
    Do what you need to do to work with what is left, but don't make it about punishment. Your reaction (and your husband's) makes sense since this was really upsetting to you, but make sure to vent to each other about your feelings so you are less likely to be reactive to your child. (i.e., doing something in retaliation.)
    Think about what you DO want (not just for it not to have happened, lol, but for her not to sneak, for you to be able to do damage control) and respond in the way that's most likely to support that in the future. (i.e., Don't make her scared of you, and thus more likely to sneak.) Let her know what TO do if she finds scissors & wants to cut something. Let her know to talk to you if/when she wants to do something (this really pays off, in general....)
    Beyond that, this is a chance to demonstrate that you can accept reality & adjust, and that your love & approval aren't conditional! lol
    hugs
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:44 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • P.S. This is a good time for being open (approachable) & curious. Just asking....find out what she was thinking, what SHE thinks of her handiwork.

    My daughter cut her own hair at age 4. She cut the sides--well above her ear on one side--and I was sooo frustrated but then it came out that she was "trying to look like Fraulein Maria." (The Sound of Music)
    She did some snipping again at age 6 (like others have experienced, in front & right down to the scalp in some places!) It was so upsetting to have that happen! But....She finally revealed that she was thinking about how people were collecting hair to make absorbent mats in response to the oil spill in the Gulf. She knew we were trying to grow out her bangs & thought she'd just be getting rid of them faster AND helping...
    One of my 4yo's recently cut off his bangs. He later asked if I could tell it was him, now. I explored & turns out he dislikes being mixed up with his twin!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:58 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

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