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Well it's official, my son likes daddy's house better than mommy's :(

My son goes to his father's every weekend, that's how we worked it out in the joint agreement. He usually gets dropped off on Sunday evenings, but yesterday I got a call that he wanted to stay, because there's nothing to do at mommy's house. It kind of broke my heart a little bit. I try taking him places like the park and the beach, or outside with friends but I just don't have money for many other things since im unemployed. And child support isn't always consistent since he is in and out of work, unless I call every day to send a payment. How would you deal with this situation?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Jun. 24, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • Make your home fun and full of love.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:28 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Maybe it's just a novelty...they wear off fast. He'll want his Momma back soon. Just let him enjoy himself. Then find out why he likes it so much to be there & do those things too! Hugs. Use this time to do something for yourself even if it's a nap & a good book.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:34 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Your son will go back and forth over whose house he enjoys more based on his wants and needs at the time. Sometimes you, sometimes dad, and sometimes he wont want either! He will want to be at his friends house, or grandmas, etc. Dont let it upset you. Just be a happy, healthy mom for him who gives him her time! You dont have to be wealthy to make a kid feel special....

    Answer by Nimue930 at 11:40 AM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Don't take it personally. I have this same problem except I have it every other week when my oldest 3 go to their dad's. They always seem so eager to go. I'm not sure if it is just the knowledge that this is their schedule or if they really like being at the dad's more. I've come to the realization that kids are going to try to play parents against the other to try and get what they want. Maybe it's just because he is their dad. Dad is probably more fun because there isn't as much structure at his house as their is at mom's. I'm not sure if mine are as eager to come to me. But, the thing to remember is that no matter what, your child will always need his mom and you can't be replaced. You care for him when he's sick, feed him, clean up after him, love him with hugs and kisses. Even if he doesn't realize how much he needs you right now, he will, and it probably is just the novelty of things.

    Answer by HHx5 at 1:05 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Don't make it bad to feel that way by expressing hurt feelings. It really is OK to have preferences! Think in terms of him being who he is & how he is (authentic) with you, not reporting feelings & preferences he thinks you will approve of!
    In addition, remind yourself that it is likely less an actual "preference" and more a reflection of how he was feeling in that moment.
    Transitions are hard, even "good" ones. If he loves his dad & enjoys being with him, the prospect of transitioning away from that & to your home could have felt unpleasant. It's also possible that he could perceive that his dad was pleased by him saying that, and he could be trying to please Dad. (Or not.)
    Mostly, keep in mind that those sorts of statements are really just expressing the reality of the moment (I'm so happy right now; it feels good being together; it's hard to think of leaving; I don't like saying goodbye.) Kids live in the moment.

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:31 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • I can imagine that hurts. My kids go to their dad's every other weekend and I know it's hard when they're gone! Not to bribe him, but have you thought about dropping by goodwill, looking at yardsales or checking for some toys? Cars, legos, etc. But even with toys, dad's just play differently with kids. My kids always tell me my husband is way more "fun" than I am. Not that they love me less, but I'm more the organizer, planner, etc. and my husband just plays!
    It's great that you are giving him the time and space to get to know his dad and that you and his dad are able to work things out.

    Answer by missanc at 3:00 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • I can imagine that must have stung. I felt hurt when my stepson was mad at his dad and didn't want to come to our house, and I'm not even his mom. But kids don't say things intentionally to hurt; they just blurt out what's in their heads. At that moment, your son was probably involved in doing something he didn't want to quit. It didn't mean he doesn't love you, he was most likely just feeling interrupted.

    Answer by Ballad at 4:12 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

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