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My cousin's husb. is on the autism spectrum & I have some questions

First, I mean no disrespect. If you knew this guy, you'd understand our frustration. For years we just thought he was a bit unsocial & obnoxious. He's always so negative & says inappropriate things. He recently admitted that he has autism, but I'm not sure if he's doing anything to better himself or his children's lives. Their oldest child has some severe emotional issues too & is on the spectrum as well. I know there are services out there for the child, but this guy is so stubborn, I don't think he'd go for help for himself, since he seems to think he knows it all. I know we can't force him to get help either. Are there ways to help guide his behavior, esp. when he makes people uncomfortable w/ inappropriate discussions (ie racial slurs) Changing the topic & walking away are only temporary solutions. Any suggestions are welcome.


Asked by mrsmom110 at 4:01 PM on Jun. 24, 2013 in Special Needs

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Answers (5)
  • Omg that sounds exactly like my annoying friend that I posted about before. He does the same thing with the racial slurs and is so negative about everyone and everything. His gets his mind made up about something like a Dr being no good just from what he has heard about him, never been to the dr but he wont let anyone else who has been there explain the good things about the dr. Nope hes no good shouldn't even have a license! He makes up silly songs and goes out of his way to annoy you when you aren't paying him any attention. Usually I just tell him it's time for him to go home or tell him he is being annoying again. He does get defensive though and angry when I act like I don't think his antics are funny. They would be funny if he were 5 years old but he is in his 50s. Sometimes you just have to be direct and tell them to stop please or just walk away. Especially when they are too stubborn to get help or services.

    Answer by AnonNdrag at 6:40 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • I would just tell him it's innappropriate & to cut it out. My dh's stepdad has aspergers so I understand. He's usually good after were like that's enough knock it off.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 4:06 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • It's more difficult with someone who has autism but there's no reason you can't guide the conversation. The thing is, not picking up on hints is part of autism, so walking away or ignoring him might not work. You may have to come right out and say, "We aren't going to talk about this. Let's change the subject."

    Answer by Ballad at 5:33 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • I agree with the others. Be direct.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 7:07 PM on Jun. 29, 2013

  • Be direct and tell him when something is or is not appropriate. He may not realize or may have found that it got a laugh out of other people. He likely doesn't pick up on peoples social cues and needs someone to direct him. He will eventually get it. It may also be helpful to guide the conversation before it starts. When everyone's there, state the rules for the evening. Start out there are no hurt feeling this evening and everyone has a good time, there will be no cussing, no racial slurs and no rude behaviors. Give him gentle reminders by saying, remember the rules "name", no cussing, etc.

    Good for you for caring enough to help and not just dismissing him! You should be proud of yourself!

    Answer by whoodathunk at 1:43 PM on Jul. 5, 2013