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My husband's negative attitude has finally gotten to me and I am about to lose it...what should I do?

My husband has been negative through out our 22 years of marriage. He complains about everything and anything. Nothing I do makes him happy. He is critical of everything. I am at the point now that I can't take it any longer. But I don't know what to do about it. If I try to confront him then he will get angry. He has a bad temper. He has never physically hurt me or our children but he has emotionally abused us. It has gotten to the point where I have withdrawn from everyone and I just go along with whatever he has to say because there is no point in disagreeing. My friends and children have noticed a change in my demeanor. Any suggestions as to how to overcome his negativity and be myself again?

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drowning163

Asked by drowning163 at 4:34 PM on Jun. 24, 2013 in Relationships

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Tell him to straighten up or get the hell out
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 4:37 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • You've put up with it a lot longer than most would. It's time to make a plan. Talk to a lawyer (call your local bar assoc. for free or low cost consultation) Then talk to family & friends about a safe place to stay while you transition into a new life without him. If need be, consult w/ a women's shelter in your area. GL

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:37 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Slap him...
    Just one good slap. Maybe you'll slap him positive
    Lovin_mybaby5

    Answer by Lovin_mybaby5 at 4:39 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Have you told him he's nothing but a downer? That never in your relationship has he ever said anything positive to build you up or encourage you? Have you told him how he makes you feel?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 4:45 PM on Jun. 24, 2013


  • It is time to take a stance and..have him leave......telling him the party is over and you are tired of his verbal abuse.....go through legal advice so he can see you mean what you say, you should not have to change who you are to please anyone.
    older

    Answer by older at 4:46 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • PartyGalAnne - no I haven't told him how he makes me feel. In the past I would make comments about how negative he was but he always denied it and said I was the one being negative. I walk on eggshells around him enough already. But you are probably right, I should tell him how his negativity is affecting me.
    drowning163

    Comment by drowning163 (original poster) at 4:55 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • There's a big difference between being happy and being content. Go get yourself some happy.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 5:16 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • After 22 years, you know he isn't going to change. If you've had enough, it's time for you to move on, especially if he is emotionally abusive to your kids. That kind of negativity is uncalled for and you don't want your kids learning that's the way to be.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 5:28 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Get him a book about husbands and there negative behaviour and how it affects the family.
    I heard this joke once
    A mom and her 3yr old where driving in the car
    the little girl asked her mom "Mom where are all the fucking idiots today"
    The mom thought for a min and said "Well hunny they only come out when your father is driving"
    pinkparcel

    Answer by pinkparcel at 7:44 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Do you work out side the home?
    Maybe you need to stop being around him as much as you can. Find things to do that you can do away from him. As in get your own life.
    That way his attitude will not bother you so much.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:53 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

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