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4 Bumps

I found out my 16 year old son and his 17 year old girlfriend started having sex. I haven't allowed them to see each other since and they are having very little communication. Any suggestions?

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Asked by pjsgolfer at 6:51 PM on Jun. 24, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (28)
  • The best you can do is make sure he is very educated on pregnancy and std's. And if you don't know much go to the library. Just remember he will be having sex from now on it's not your choice to make but at least with proper guidance he can make good ones.

    Answer by pinkparcel at 7:13 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Well, since she's older than him in a couple years, this may fall under threat of statutory rape. Check the laws for your state since each state has different age guidelines. Here is a link to start your research, BUT you should double check it against your state's website info, since some webpages are inaccurate or outdated and laws can change. You need to educate them on these laws. I disagree with some of the people who answered here. You shouldn't turn into your son's best friend. You need to maintain your parental control. However, you can't force them to be apart because it only makes them try harder to be together.


    Answer by hellokittykat at 7:24 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • You can make the girl feel a part of your family so that they both feel an obligation to not let you down. Be sure to explain what kinds of protection is out there. Also, explain to them about the morning after pills, such as Plan B, to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Find out if the girl can get on birth control, too. Explain to them that some antibiotics and medications stop the birth control from working. Keep an open communication with them and let them know they can come to you to talk any time and you wil not get upset. You might even consider requiring that they both complete a sex education class in order to continue dating, even if they have taken a class before. Make them take it again at home, online, or through a city/county class.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 7:26 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • I know no parent wants to deal with this part of our children growing up. But the others are right, the more you try to keep them apart, the more you risk, well, risky behavior on their part so they can be together. They need to know you don't condone what they are doing, but if they are going to play adult games, they better be ready for the adult consequences. They need to know about types of protection, if they don't already.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:29 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Make them earn the right to continue dating by asking them to complete certain tests, like cooking meals, balancing a check book, caring for a fake baby for 2 weeks, work babysitting jobs, etc. Ask them questions that get them thinking. Emphasize that you're not saying they can't see other but that they have to earn the right to continue every month by proving they can be responsible. That's fair.


    Answer by hellokittykat at 7:30 PM on Jun. 24, 2013


    Have them volunteer at Planned Parenthood centers. Even jobs aren't listed in your area, call up a center and I'm sure they will welcome volunteers even if for a few weekends or a few hours.



    Answer by hellokittykat at 7:36 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Tell him about sex, pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Then buy him a case of condoms. I might actually go somewhere there are tons of little kids and babies (the crankier and sassier the better) and make him understand what it is like to have to listen to AND be responsible for a child.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 7:39 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Your reaction to this will do more harm than good, the forbidden is very very attractive to a teen, you can't control their urges, they have to do that...and this is unlikely to happen. Be smart about this and allow them to see each other because they will do it anyway and all you can do is make it difficult for them to have the free time to have sex..and even them where there is a will there is a way. So your best bet is to make sure contraception is in order, and the possibility of pregnancy is diminished.


    Answer by older at 7:43 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Do you honestly think they aren't sneaking around and seeing each other, even though you have "forbidden" it?

    Answer by kmath at 7:48 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Have them come talk to you, offer condoms, and offer to take her to get on the piill, bring her mother into it, my goodness lady humans are sexual beings, just prevent disease and pregnancy, and you are all good.
    Why would you do that to him?

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 8:14 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

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