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4 Bumps

I found out my 16 year old son and his 17 year old girlfriend started having sex. I haven't allowed them to see each other since and they are having very little communication. Any suggestions?

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Asked by pjsgolfer at 6:51 PM on Jun. 24, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (28)
  • All you are going to do is alienate both your son and his gf. There are alot of 16 year olds that have sex and no matter what you tell them they aren't going to stop (I know how I was at that age.) With my oldest I have focused on keeping her and her bf educated and safe. I would never encourage a teen to have sex but once they do I think you need to accept it and keep the lines of communication open. Teens having sex doesn't make them bad kids.

    Answer by GarysWife1991 at 9:31 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • I just have to say I'm impressed by all these answers from realistic moms.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 11:27 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • Sure you can separate them now. What about school? Will you send him away? He will find some one else if not her. I understand your concerns. My best advice is to get both families together and make sure she is on birth control. Teach them both about condoms and buy them for them if you have to.
    I am not a fan of premarital sex, but I am realistic enough to know that the way you are going about it leads to babies and or runaway kids.

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:27 PM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • I am 49, and when I was 17 my BF would come over to my house in the wee hours of the night. You are fooling yourself if you think you are forbidding them from seeing each other. Like others have said, I would have a frank conversation with him about the consequences of unprotected sex, and personally, I would leave a basket of condoms in the bathroom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • What anon said about the basket of condoms in the bathroom or in her nightstand. I just check periodically and refill when necessary.

    Answer by GarysWife1991 at 4:22 PM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • My suggestion is to keep doing what you are doing! But I would explain to him WHY you did it. Kids need boundaries, and they should know implicitly what is acceptable and what is not. I think 16 is way too young to be sexually active.

    I know most of the moms on here won't agree with me, but that is nothing new. I think the OP did great.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • Do you think it's possible that you may have over reacted a little? The second you tell a teen that they can't see someone they are dating, they are wanting to see them even more often. If it were me, I would talk to my son about safe sex, pregnancy and diseases. I would buy him some condoms and possibly even take his girlfriend to get birth control.
    It's always incredibly important, when dealing with teenagers, to stay calm and do your best to communicate with them.

    I hope you reconsider, good luck .

    Answer by skellams at 9:14 AM on Jun. 29, 2013

  • they won't end up together like Cinderella its young love stop him and he'll just resent you in the long wrong and it'll damage your relationship.
    -same experience.

    Answer by mcomminey at 3:00 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

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