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4 Bumps

I found out my 16 year old son and his 17 year old girlfriend started having sex. I haven't allowed them to see each other since and they are having very little communication. Any suggestions?

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pjsgolfer

Asked by pjsgolfer at 6:51 PM on Jun. 24, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (28)
  • Mom, be real, you can't keep young lovers apart...they will find a way to see each other without you knowing it......you are fighting a no win battle here, provide your son with contraceptives......
    older

    Answer by older at 6:53 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • You cannot STOP them, but you need to make sure he is using protection REGARDLESS of what she tells him (she is on the pill...she doesn't like condoms...whatever else).
    You need to have a chat about the responsibility that comes along with having sex and the possible consequences of it.
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 6:53 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Do you honestly think they aren't sneaking around and seeing each other, even though you have "forbidden" it?
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 7:48 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • You're going to make things much worse!!! Perfect time to COMMUNICATE with him. You're going to drive him away.
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 7:01 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • Bad move momma. This is why kids run away and stuff.
    How about teaching responsibility and risks instead??
    Aologize to your son, and then start treating him like the young man that he is.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 6:57 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • What do you hope to accomplish by separating them? I have a feeling you're headed toward a lot of resentment and some sneaking around on the part of the kids.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:53 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • This ^^^^

    You must have forgotten what it's like to be a teen.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 6:53 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • I agree, have a serious talk with him about condoms and consequences. I remember being 17. There was no way my parents could have kept me from doing what I was already doing, regardless of how much they thought they were watching me or restricting me.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 6:57 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • The more you try and control your son the more he is going to resist you. As the other ladies above have said, make sure he has all the facts, make sure he knows that he can come to YOU with ANYTHING. Questions or God forbid something worse, you need to let him feel safe and comfortable talking to you and not try to hide things or sneak around. Provide him with condoms and let him know what would happen should a pregnancy result. What would be expected of him and how much it will change his life etc.. then hope that you taught him well and hope that you have let your son know that you are his mom no matter what and that you will always be there should he need you.
    AnonNdrag

    Answer by AnonNdrag at 7:02 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

  • I know no parent wants to deal with this part of our children growing up. But the others are right, the more you try to keep them apart, the more you risk, well, risky behavior on their part so they can be together. They need to know you don't condone what they are doing, but if they are going to play adult games, they better be ready for the adult consequences. They need to know about types of protection, if they don't already.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:29 PM on Jun. 24, 2013

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