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Could this be considered selfish or whatever? And maybe a wee bit of a rant..

So I got $100 so I could go shopping. I had only 2 shirts to my name. And dd needed more clothes. Anyway, dd didn't pick up her toys like I told her to, so she could not go shopping with me. DH gets home, I tell him what went on and he tells me hes tired and had to work all day, and ask me how long I would be out. I said probably a few hours. He sighs and says ooook. Meanwhile, I cannot remember when I actually went out shopping without dd. I had dinner prepped, all he had to do was put in the oven. I made shake and bake chicken, and cut up potatoes so he could mash them. 400 degrees for 20 min how hard is that? Plus, after all the shit that went on this weekend with dd? And the fact HE got to be with adults, in the sunshine chilling out. And I was having tantrums from hell from my 4 yr old. Is it so difficult for him to spend a few hours one on one with dd? I thought I needed the break, and wanted to be gone hell of alot longer than 2 hrs! But nope, made me feel guilty damn it.

Then, I kid you not, he called in exactly 2 hrs, actually 5 min before to be technical. WTF?? So I told him I was on my way home. Then I find he didn't even put the dishes in the dishwasher, or empty the trash. Damn it, fucking WAHHHHHHHHHH! I love my dd with all my heart, but goddamn it, I would like to have my time too! Grrrrrrr He only has to work 3 days this week, but according to him, there is too much for him to do around the house.

Ok ladies!! WTF can I do now?!?!

Answer Question

Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:22 AM on Jun. 25, 2013 in Relationships

Level 34 (66,351 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Ummm... You would have a heart attack if you were with my SO. Just be thankful he didn't burn the house down and your kid was in one piece when you got home.

    Men suck.

    Answer by staciandababy at 12:26 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • yeah, you have got to sit his butt down and have a candid chat. Tell him that you need alone time too even if he's working himself into the grave. Adults need a break or they go insane. Seriously, it's critical to your mental health. If he can't do the dishes, ok. But he does NOT need to call you at the two hour mark. That is BS. You'll never enjoy your time that way. Next time, tell him no time limit and that you're done feeling guilty and tethered to your dd. If he cannot appreciate where you're coming from, tell him to take DD for a weekend so he can better understand what you're feeling. I'm mad for you!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:30 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • Also, this is not about a division of labor or who earns. You both agreed to parent, no? I don't know if you stay home but it doesn't mean you've agreed to slavery.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:31 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • You know what girl I thought I was the only one with this kind of stress! By the way my name is Desiree and I have a tbree year old that requires much of my energy. His tantrums are extreme and it wears me out. I also have a 1 year old and a 9 month old. I know they are incredibly close in age. When I want to go out, my husband makes me feel guilty too. Its like they need you to hold their hand through it all and they dont attempt half as much as you. Please do not feel guilty we are people too and deserve a break every once in a while. If it werent for us women the whole foundation of family life would break down, honestly. I def had a situation like that where laundry was done, the whole 2 floors of the house top to bottom was done and dinner was prepared, all I needed was for my husband to do was feed and bathe the kids. All I got was complaint as to why I needed to go out to get my hair done! Wtf! I def understand u!

    Answer by dmj8162 at 12:36 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • Taking care of your child is a shared duty. I would never do a time limit and I'd probably take longer if my dh ever called me and tried to rush me. I'm a Taurus and I'm deffinatly stubborn lol I'd sit down be honest, tell him you'd like more alone time maybe once a week to do what ever you want. I would also offer him that in return. You didn't make that child by yourself you shouldn't have to take her everywhere you go he can and should watch her if you do not want her tagging alone here and there. I know if I didn't have me time I'd lose my mind. I love my Los but its nice to go out without them.

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 12:36 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • I'm annoyed for you, too. Calling at the two hour mark, that's over the top. Men are clueless.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:36 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • I could have written that. Hell no you aren't selfish. He is.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 12:49 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • We have a rule. No phone calls except for blood or flames. And if I find neither when I get home, he's spending the night in the Stupid Husband Hilton out back.

    No way you're selfish.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:57 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • " I don't know if you stay home but it doesn't mean you've agreed to slavery."
    Yes I am a stay at home mom/slave/insane woman down the street..

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 1:25 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • I'd ask him why he wanted these children if he didn't want to parent them?
    It's not WATCHING the kids- they're YOUR KIDS!

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:29 AM on Jun. 25, 2013

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