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I dont know if i should feel bad or not (dont judge just gimme advice)

I have a delima...well idk if that's exactly what you would call it, i'll letchu make the judgment call: I have a stepmom who is somewhat of a "greedy" person. For example, everytime i do my little bit of food shopping she always has her hands out ready for a serving! She always expects large portions to and not just second helpings but 3rd and 4th. She knows i don't "have it like that" to be doing excessive shopping. I don't mind helping sometimes, but i feel like im sorta being used. I am a pregnant woman and i feel like she eats more of my food than i end up doing of my own food. If i say "i don't have enough to share" she catches an attitude with me and storms of swearing under her breath. I know she goes to pantries sometimes (just like i have done) but when i don't have much i have turned to her (not as often as she has with me) and she will automatically say "she don't have much" and what she DOES have she has never shared a large portion i get a small helping (if im lucky). I need to know should i stop helping her to avoid this? or what to do

 
CollegeMommy89

Asked by CollegeMommy89 at 4:41 PM on Jun. 25, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 4 (48 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • if you dont think you can afford to feed her, then don't. tell her you have to feed your child and yourself first and she isn't your responsibility.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 4:50 PM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • youre in college, single, pregnant and living at daddy's house?

    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 5:19 PM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • ?
    is she having 3rd and 4th helping when eating a meal at a table
    or helping herself to your groceries
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:44 PM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • does she live with you or do you live with her?
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 4:58 PM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • Does she take you shopping, or go with you? Does she just come over at dinnertime, or do you live with her? I'm not understanding enough about how this all works to give you advice. And by the way, "just gimme advice" is a pushy and hostile way of phrasing a queston, not general recommended for friendly discussion.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 5:24 PM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • This confuses me. Are you living in the same house?
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:52 PM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • Who lives with who?
    Who is standing on their own two feet, and who is the moocher?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 5:59 PM on Jun. 25, 2013

  • Yes just stop feeding her. Let her get mad that's her issue to deal with not yours. You have a child on the way that you have to feed and clothe. If she lives with you, she needs to find somewhere else to stay or chip in on the groceries and if you live with her.....well either you need to move or accept that she is going to eat your food. If you are living separate from each other stop letting her in uninvited.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:55 AM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • Work on letting her have her feelings about your decisions. If she gets mad & mutters about your "attitude" or "selfishness," recognize that it really IS okay for her to be upset in response to hearing something from you that upsets her. It also is okay for her to decide that you're selfish, petty, stingy or ungrateful. She can think her thoughts & have her feelings. Her reaction isn't the indicator of whether your decision is reasonable or not.
    I am not saying "So what?" or "Who cares?" I know it feels uncomfortable to see that someone is upset or thinks poorly of you.
    But it sounds like you are feeling the pinch of the situation & you are NOT willing to continue this way. It is a reasonable decision, assuming you have an arrangement with your dad & her about the terms of you living there. If you mostly buy "your food" so as not to be a hardship to them, then don't share that food if it causes yourself hardship & resentment.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 2:05 PM on Jun. 26, 2013