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4 Bumps

I'm disappointed with the way my niece's graduation went down....

My niece graduated high school last night. My daughter was supposed to attend and go out to dinner last night night with the family, but she went to work instead. I told her weeks ago to request the night off, but she didn't. She did request time off for her graduation, prom, and prom weekend. She works at a local ice cream shop. I asked her to get coverage, but she said it didn't work. So, she was as going to call in sick, but my husband got angry, and yelled at her for not requesting time off ahead of time. She went to work.

I got in from work , after all this went down. I was upset that she wasn't going. My husband said it was her own fault. We went. My niece , brother in law, and sister in law were disappointed, she wasn't there and I felt terrible! The girls are so close and my daughter should have been there.

My niece was at her graduation and dinner last week! Should I have told her to pretend to be sick to get out of work and come with us? It's just a part time job and a graduation is once in a lifetime! Daughter said its her dad's fault for yelling at her.

I feel badly about the whole situation. Wish we had a do over! How would you feel? What would you do?


Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Jun. 26, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (42)
  • Hopefully your daughter learned a valuable lesson about not procrastinating. There will be other big moments for your niece. As far as blaming her dad foryelling, that's pretty childish.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:58 PM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • who's to say she didn't try to request it off and it got denied? maybe if your husband didn't get so angry with her she would have called in sick. I say let it go, skipping this shouldn't be the treated like one of the worse she's done.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 5:03 PM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • Ever think of that her dad screaming at her made her feel horrible and she didn't want to be around him? Guess your feelings about what others think is more important then your daughters.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 5:04 PM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • It's just a part time job

    This mentality is why people expect teenagers to be lousy employees who don't give a damn about doing anything more than is expected of them. No, you shouldn't reinforce that attitude. People all over the country miss graduations, baptisms, first steps, Christmas mornings, Thanksgiving dinners, weddings and funerals, because they work at "just a part time job" to keep food on the table. They don't have the luxury to call in sick whenever it suits them, and it's a horrible way to teach your child a work ethic.

    Learning the value of upholding her responsibilities is far more important than seeing people on a specific day that she can see anytime anyway.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:04 PM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • I'm trying to sort out my feelings about the whole thing.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:08 PM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • Since it is over and done with you may as well let it go.
    It is your daughter' fault because she either did not remember and did not request it off or was not upfront with you from the beginning in saying she could not take the time off. That was her responsibility. If you do not want her working in just a part time job then tell her to quit, but teaching her to call in sick because you want to do something is a bad habit. Other people are counting on her to do her job when she is supposed to be there. She got off for her own graduation etc? Well those are more important and other people have gradations the need or want to attend also.
    Ok dad should not have yelled, she should have told you, you were embarrassed, they were disappointed. It is now in the past.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:08 PM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • She has a job and if she has already asked for time for HER graduation and prom and whatnot- do you really think it was THAT important for her to ask for time for this too?
    I mean it's graduation - which is big, but why can't they celebrate it together some other way, or after work?


    let it go
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 5:14 PM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • Maybe the girls can get together and look at pictures/video footage of the graduation together? Maybe yours can use part of her wages to get her a nice gift.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:14 PM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • Of course she took time off for her own graduation and things, this is her cousin lighten up for goodness sake, your husband is correct, she should be responsible and have gone to work, I am betting a dollar other girl has no job.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:24 PM on Jun. 26, 2013

  • What NP said. It is a JOB, even if it is only part time. It is her responsibility to request the time off. Suggesting she call in sick when she isn't is a crap thing to do. You are teaching her how to shirk responsibility. They can go out to dinner together some other night.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 5:26 PM on Jun. 26, 2013

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