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Help with SD sneaking and HUGE attitude?

My SD, 9, has a a problem with sneaking food/pop in her room and when you ask her about it after she gets caught she lies and has a HUGE attitude about it. She will also yell at you when you are talking calm. I have no idea what to do. Any suggestions?


Asked by lilmama5268 at 9:02 AM on Feb. 18, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (8)
  • My dd was adopted and before we adopted her we knew that the bio had left her in her crib w/out food and attention. There were abuse issues from the bio and possibly her boyfriends, we don't know for sure. We were warned that she may have issues and we had "no idea" how big of issues she'd have. She was stealing snacks at school from kids lunch bags and from the snack bin in school. It started in kindergarten with her stealing gummy bear snacks (ones that we would buy her also, the same kind) from kids lockers in their back packs. Then it went to the lunches in 2nd grade but she fessed up that it was going on even in 1st grade she just didn't get caught. It "is" a lack of food problem from early on. She would do it here at home (always junk food), pop, candy but we kept working with her and she hasn't done it since then and she is in 4th grade now. Email me if you want to visit more about how we handled it. It's hard.

    Answer by cat4458 at 3:14 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • My sons used to do that around the same age and deny everything. What I did was a stake out. I put them to bed and then got back up and waited in the dark where I knew they wouldnt see me for them to get into the fridge. I busted them flat out and to be honest it was super funny to see the look on their faces and trying to deny doing it as they had a cupcake in their hand. As for attitude you need to talk to her dad and have him deal with that and any punishment.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:26 AM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I have talked to her dad about her attitude, and he is furious with her about it. She acts like she is a grown woman, knowing everything, she is never wrong, all that good stuff. I know most of us did this as kids, but I don't remember it being so early. I don't think I did that until I was 13ish. Plus her mother abandon her when she was just a baby, so I know that has a lot to play into it. I'm just at a loss, because I am sill a young mother, 24, and my kids are all under five.

    Answer by lilmama5268 at 10:15 AM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Sounds like someone needs a good dose of "the belt".

    Answer by ashpat79 at 10:29 AM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • This def. has to do with her being abandoned. My dd's bio mom left her and let her fend for herself. She was only 2. She had a major problem with food hording. her therapist said it was because she was afraid that she would never have any food again. We let her know at age 4 that there will always be food around. ad not to be afraid to ask us if she can have something, even if it a cookie. We compromised We made a deal if she was good all day that she could have a cookie right before she brushed her teeth at night. Good luck. I know your sd older than my dd but a little compromise goes a long way.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Yes I agree with the others that she must be hoarding food due to past issues and such in her life. 9 is a hard age too. Has her dad tried talking to her about it?

    Answer by WishyClarkson at 4:10 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Counseling. My two biggest peves are lies and stealing. Not allowed to happen in my house.

    Answer by DAWN-10 at 5:01 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I understand COMPLETELY!!!! My 9 year old step son has had a huge for about one week now. I think the reason is due to his birthday not being very exciting(financial problems) he hasn't been able to go to his bio moms house due to an investigation with child protective services. His mother and his sister (18) got into a fight with a hammer and a knife. (CRAZY HUH?) And his dad (who was working) was not home for his birthday this year either. I think its been bothering him but I can't get him to talk about it. I think just talking to them, really talking to them, is the best therapy. Get down on their level, don't use words they won't understand and just listen. There is so much there that you just can't hear unless you are listening carefully

    Answer by Shaunnac792 at 6:54 PM on Feb. 18, 2009