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3 Bumps

Would you be upset? (proposal)

If you man didnt "propose" to you? would it be a deal breaker for you? If you feel like it wasnt a memorable or special day..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Jun. 27, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (27)
  • He did so I don't know.
    Does it matter to you?
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:57 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • My husband didn't really get the chance to propose to me. My mom kept bugging us to get married and we finally just decided to do it (granted I was only 19 and him 21, a year older when we actually had the wedding). I'm more annoyed with my mom for interfering than him for not actually proposing. Obviously it wasn't a deal breaker.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 12:58 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • it is not the proposal or the wedding day
    it is the marriage that matters
    imo

    if you are hung up on ONE special day
    this might not be the right guy for you
    or
    you are not ready to marry anyone as your priorities are not set yet
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:59 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • Well, I would think that, in order to get married, he must propose somehow, right? I mean, unless he just comes home one day and says, "We're getting married July 31, 2014." or something. lol

    I don't know. I guess I might be a bit hurt, and maybe upset. I think most women tend to imagine that the same way they imagine their wedding, and I can see being disappointed that you didn't get the big, dramatic to-do that you always dreamed of.

    But at the same time, what matters is that you two love each other and he's making the commitment to spend the rest of his life with you. Ultimately, when you're both in you're eighties, you're going to look back on a lifetime together, and I think there will be far more to look at and smile about than a wedding proposal.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:59 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • Frankly, if this is a deal breaker for you, you are way short of being ready for an adult relationship and marriage.
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 1:00 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • If you're going to be picky about the proposal, he should RUN! Being married to you would be torture!
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:02 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • I'm a planner. I dated my DH for a long time. I picked out my engagement ring with him. I put a down payment on the wedding band. We built a house together before we married. He's a wise guy so after we bought the ring, he said, "you'll get it when I decide!" I laughed. So one night I was getting ready to go out to dinner with him & he came in the bathroom with a glass of wine. I took a sip & saw the ring at the bottom of the glass. We hugged & kissed. He showed up on the day of the Wedding so that was a good thing. No formal proposal & actually until now I never thought about it. No biggie!
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:02 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • We didn't do a proposal,we had a meeting. I don't go for the fairy tale stuff
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:05 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • We were never really formally engaged. We always just assumed we would get married. He moved in with me in June, and by August, things were going so well that we decided to get married before the seasons changed. I was working in a jewelry store at the time and I picked our rings. We were married two weeks later. A proposal was never something that was important to me. I never gave it any thought. To me, the decision to get married was one we made together. Spending our lives together was something WE decided, not something HE decided. Weddings also aren't important to me, and looking back, I would have skipped that if I could go back and elope instead. It was never about the proposal or the wedding or the people who were there. It was only ever about the marriage and the two people in it.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:06 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • My husband and I decided together that we wanted to be married. Then he got me a ring and the we got married. That was 48 1/2 years ago. So I have to think that a formal proposal was not necessary for us to have had a good and long marriage. Our son- in-law had his proposal to our daughter painted on a barn roof and then took her up in a plane to read it. She was so busy looking at the scenery, she missed the proposal the first time over. So they did it again, and he still had to point it out to her. They,too, have a good marriage, but I don't think it's because of the manner in which he proposed. It's the commitment that makes the difference.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:14 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

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