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3 Bumps

My ex DDIL was abducted at gun point and held for 7 minutes before the police came.

I do not have all the details. We are not terribly close but talk some. She was at work and went out to smoke on her break. The guy in the security room saw the attacker before she did and called the police. He grabbed her and held her at gun point.
She walked as slowly and stumbly as she could. She was counting each heart beat as her last. This was about a week ago.
She is fine, with only a small bruise and some terror. She will have to testify to the grand jury soon. My grandson will be with me anyway but she naturally wanted to know all would be well.
She does not want her almost thirteen year old to know. I agree.
Still I would like to do some small supportive thing/ gesture but I am clueless what to do that won't make my grandson wonder what is up.
Any ideas. Thoughts
?

Probably the wrong category.

 
Dardenella

Asked by Dardenella at 4:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2013 in Relationships

Level 47 (265,046 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Yeah, I don't think Hallmark makes a card for that! lol :p Glad she's OK. I can't imagine how scared she must've been. That was probably the longest 7 minutes of her life. Don't know how far you want to go with the gesture, but how about a gift card for a massage. After what she's been thru, she could use a day of relaxation at the spa! :)

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:01 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • I wouldn't tell the child. What's the point? Why worry him unnecessarily?? Keep him busy by doing fun things & let her have time alone to relax & get her mind collected.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 4:27 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • i don't think she needs to tell him about it if she doesn't want to, he may worry every time she goes to work etc. 13 is an odd age, and the bottom line is she knows him and you know him best.
    I assume you like her? I would write a very heartfelt note about how proud you are of her for walking slow, and being smart about the whole thing, and are so thankful she is still here with you and her son.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 4:29 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • What good would it do to tell him about this?

    Because mom will probably suffer some PTSD for a while
    the kid will need some basic understanding of why mom is acting differently then before the incident

    i.e. after a very abusive relationship over 20 years ago, I cannot to this day stand to have anyone in my blind spot/ behind me
    so if the kid walks up behind mom she could lash out. both kid and mom will have to know it has nothing to do with kid

    kwim?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 5:33 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • I guess just be supportive by listening to her. I'm sure it was very traumatizing. Also, offer to take your grandson for her so she can have some alone time.... ???
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 4:22 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • I think it's a mistake to hide this from her family.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:22 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • If the mom ends up with PTSD, it's true, the son might have to know eventually. I have some PTSD issues left from childhood abuse, and I've had to let those I've had close relationships with know that my fear and my reactions in certain situations have nothing to do with anything they've done. That being said, there's probably no way to tell just yet what emotional or psychological damage has been done.

    As far as a gift, what inspires your ex daughter-in-law? Is there some piece of music that would make her feel grateful and ready to celebrate life? Maybe a piece of art or a plaque she could hang up to remind her how precious life is? I also like the massage idea.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:08 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • I think she should let him go, why hide this from him?
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 4:22 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • How bout a box of wine......
    pinkparcel

    Answer by pinkparcel at 6:39 PM on Jun. 27, 2013

  • agree with I Love my Paulie
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 6:45 PM on Jun. 27, 2013