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3 Bumps

Bad parent?

My ex takes our son just his scheduled time that is 12 hours a month. That is all he asked the judge for. I invite him to everything that involves are son he never comes. Also I offer him extra time he never takes it. He never contacts our son either. Is this a bad parent in your opinion?

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AAP1988

Asked by AAP1988 at 6:55 AM on Jun. 28, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 5 (67 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Well he wouldn't win a parent of the year award, that's for sure. I could never be away from my kids that much. I have to have more involvement in their lives than that. I also don't understand how someone wouldn't want more time w/ their kids. It's really sad, b/c they're both missing out. I hope you have other male family members or close friends who could step in & give him some male-bonding time. He needs that. GL

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:14 AM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • This is one of those things that's relative for me. My ex owes me $25K in child support, hasn't seen/called/written my kids in almost 9 years. So to me, no, this guy you describe is not a bad parent. He's not Father of the Year, but not "bad". But compare him to a father who sees his kid every weekend or every other weekend, goes to all the kid's events, or has 50/50 custody, or even got full custody, and yes, by that comparison, he is a bad father.

    If I were you, I'd be grateful for what he does and don't push for more. It's obvious he won't take it. So let him see your son the 12 hours a month that he does, find other male relatives or friends for your son to be with, and remember that your son has a good mother who loves him and you are enough.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:19 AM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • I am not going to say bad, because at least he is doing what he is supposed to be doing, why don't you ask him why he never wants more time with the boy? I say in a score of 1-10, he is a 4.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 7:51 AM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • Not completely bad, but close.....
    older

    Answer by older at 8:56 AM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • According to the Webster dictionary, a parent is simply one who gives life. It would seem that is neither good nor bad. One could say he is not being a good mentor, caretaker, nurturer, example or any number of other things that a child needs. Sure hope there is someone who is filling in those gaps in your child's life.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:30 AM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • I'd say he is a bad, lazy parent. Someone who truly doesn't want to be engaged and only does what is required of him.

    My father fought tooth and nail for my sister and I when my birth mother had custody of us. He took us every weekend, every holiday, whenever my birth mother didn't want us which was often. He won custody after a year of fighting. My birth mother chose every other weekend for her vistitation. That lasted a few months and then she never returned.
    She too was a bad parent-for many things.
    My father set the bar so high for me, as to what a parent truly should do for their child. And not because it's an obligation but because it's in their heart to do it.
    sahmamax2

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 9:31 AM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • Ur lucky he does 12 hrs. My dd so called father. Doesn't see her or write or call. Nothing. I have given up. I will not send one more photo or update him at all. Just don't push. A bad parent can mean so many different things to so many different people.
    libramoon007

    Answer by libramoon007 at 10:39 AM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • He is consistent an your child can count on him showing up when he says he will.
    That is in the plus column
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:55 AM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • I think it's not bad or good. It's just sad. I don't know why he feels he shouldn't be involved. I guess that's a hard one for me to understand.
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 1:15 PM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • I'd say parenting isn't a big priority in his life, which is sad for all involved.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:32 PM on Jun. 28, 2013

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