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2 Bumps

Seperation Anxiety from my Toddler

I don't know how "normal" this is. Obviously as parents we need breaks and time to ourselves. I have done this before and left my 3 year old with my parents. However, I am experiencing severe anxiety this time. My husband and I had plans to attend a concert on Sunday and my parents are going to watch our son. My mom had last minute training a few hours from here and decided to make a family vaca out of it. That means taking my son today (Friday) and we would pick him up from daycare Monday when we get back into town from the concert. I can't help but think all of these horrible things that could happen. A car accident, my son strolling away from my family while they are doing activities. I need to get these horrible, guilty thoughts out of my head. My son is so excited about his vaca with my family and he gets along great with them and my young sister. I know he will be just fine with going. How do I overcome this so my husband and I can just enjoy our time together? This is the longest I will ever have been away from him...


Asked by BraydonsMama262 at 7:31 PM on Jun. 28, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (11)
  • Sounds like the unexpected change of plans changed the "shape" of things fairly significantly (making it a longer stay--a weekend vacation away from you rather than staying with grandparents Sunday night) & happened quickly. You made the decision to go with that new plan because it made sense & there was nothing wrong with it, but now you're left "adjusting."
    I'm glad he was upbeat about going away with your parents. It sounds like he will have a great time, and I'm sure that helps you.
    I think your feelings make sense and you just get through them....have them & process them, like posting about it here. Really, I think you are on the right track! Feeling "off," having worries in response (that feel irrational), having trouble adjusting, and hopefully, finding yourself adjusting in the process.
    It's the longest you've been apart. It was an unexpected change, and a quick one. You have a certain comfort zone & are adjusting.

    Answer by girlwithC at 12:44 AM on Jun. 29, 2013

  • Yeah, it can be stressful, but you know he will have a great time. Text every 4-5 hours with your family. Call them each evening. Maybe pick him up earlier than planned on Monday. Or by that time you may not want to come home!! GL!

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:42 PM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • The separation is much harder on you than it will be on your kiddo. I know how you feel because I've gone through the same irrational guilt and anxiety, but just take some deep breaths and enjoy the heck out of the concert!

    Answer by Ballad at 8:12 PM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • Do you plan on this child living with you when he an adult 40 year old man? Give him some space woman.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • Exactly. I need to learn how to cope with my own anxiety. I do give him his space. But my mind plays tricks on me into being guilty and constantly worrying.

    Comment by BraydonsMama262 (original poster) at 7:38 PM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • Remind yourself they raised you and you managed to survive just fine.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 8:12 PM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • I assume you wouldn't leave him there unless you felt they were capable, they will call if anything happens, and it isn't going to, you could have all of the things you mentioned while he was with you. But 99% you and your husband, should go have lots of sex, lots of fun ,and lots of cocktails.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 8:24 PM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • im no help; i still experience anxiety when im away from my kids, but that's because of something that happened in the past. is there any reason you feel anxious about leaving him, rationally? did something happen to cause you anxiety?

    Answer by tnm786 at 8:34 PM on Jun. 28, 2013

  • OP...I do the same thing!! I just tell my over and over she will be fine, you are a good mom, she has survived thus far with no probs,. she is with your mom, she raised you, you are "fine" Treasure this time....I ENVY you... :)

    Do you plan on this child living with you when he an adult 40 year old man? Give him some space woman..."anonymous



    Answer by Anonymous 


    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:06 AM on Jun. 29, 2013

  • You do realize that he could be in an accident with you driving, wander away in a store, etc. Relax and enjoy your time alone with dh. I guess I figure if any of these things are going to happen with your parents then they could just as well happen when you're in charge.

    Answer by baconbits at 7:36 AM on Jun. 29, 2013